Bridal Shower.

I had a bridal shower today. It was too perfect for words. My bridesmaids are so stinkin amazing. I am still in awe of it all and it has been over for five hours now. I feel so blessed to have been showered upon in so many ways today. I almost just cant even write about it yet. It all feels so surreal to me. I am getting married in 13 days! How incredibly crazy and exciting is this?

15 days.

My wedding day is 15 days away. As I stood in front of the mirror this morning it hit me in a way it hadn't before. And I liked it. I just cried and prayed and thanked Jesus a super lot for being so good to me. Because he is so good to me. My bridal shower is in 2 days. Thats so weird. Im a bride. For real a bride. I fooled around with my hair a bit because I am doing it myself. And I think it has potential of being perfect. I am making all of the favors today with the dearest Jesse Scenga. I am so excited. My mind is going crazy with all that I have to do that no one can really do for me. But as I accomplish one thing at a time I feel better and better. Exciting exciting things are happening. I am moving to California! It's weird. It kind of feels like I am just getting ready for another trip. But it's for good. I mean, God might move us somewhere eventually. But for now. It will be my home out there. Jon wrote me a song this summer. In it he wrote the line; "Your the home where I belong." He left that on a blue post it note in my apartment when he left from that September trip. I put it on my door and it has been there ever since. I am glad to be going home with Jonathon. He is where I belong. Im so ready to be his wife.

Ihop.

ihop.org

Live feed of their prayer room.

This is amazing.

I feel like I am there and I am just watching it online.

Everyone should watch these all of the time.

Gas.

Jaime locked her keys in her car while she was getting gas today.

As I pulled in three hours later to get gas I had a weird feeling in my gut, but I safely secured my keys in my pocket and reminded myself I don't ever lock my door away anyways. I finished and got in my car and laughed at my silliness of thinking that something weird was going to happen. As I pulled onto I-75 I noticed my gas door thingy was open. The rest of the way home I couldn't remember for the life of me if I had put the twisty cap on. By the time I pulled onto my street I came to the conclusion I for sure did not and it had to be gone by now. That's why there was a random honk when I pulled out of the gas station. When I got out I went to shut it and saw the twisty cap sitting right there on the back of my car. Over ten miles, turns and expressways that little cap never fell off. That's real cute of Jesus :-)

Anxious.

For I believe the first time, I began to feel very anxious about my wedding tonight. As Jaime and I spent the evening shopping for bridesmaid shoes and jewelry I was enjoying my time with her and just feeling relaxed to be in her presence. I pretty much forced her into making some decisions because my mind was slowly getting on overload. When I got home my mind would not stop. The amount of things I have left to do is outrageous. Here this past month I thought that I was super on top of things and making a lot of leeway, and now, seventeen days away from my wedding my mind does not stop reminding me of all that has yet to be accomplished. In the midst of my crazy thought processes I just text Jonathon asking him to pray for me. He called me and as I started to mention the list of things to do he very firmly yet gently told me to stop what I was doing, go make tea, and read my Bible. I am a stubborn and very determined girl. So when I have a list of things to do I am not about to stop it. Plus my pride snuck in and in my mind I got all huffy; does he really think I haven't read my Bible yet today, it's already 10 pm and I have to get this stuff done so I can sleep longer than 5 hours tonight. As he persisted that I needed to drink tea and read my Bible my pridPost Optionse shattered and my determination for accomplishing wedding tasks was corrected to determination for God. And I had realized I hadn't read my Bible yet today. So I began at Isaiah 40. I stopped at verse 8 because it leaves me in awe. And what was going to be my Bible and Tea break has turned into the end of today for me. Im glad God is making my eyes so heavy I have no choice but to sleep. I really could use it.

Charades.

Anytime someone suggests charades I try to get out of it. I just always start out hating charades. But about 2 people in I wonder why I tried to get out of the game because it is pretty much an amazing game. It was my parents, Nicole and Eric, Angela, and Jon and I. It was hilarious. For a few hours we went through the different Cranium cards acting like fools as my dad kept score by building domino towers. The girls kicked butt. Zechariah takes like an hour nap at 8 instead of sleeping all night so he played with us till past midnight. He thought putting a domino in his mouth and bouncing it with his fingers was fantastic. His top right tooth is starting to come through. It feels nice. I like seeing him grow.

Come and Gone.

I can't believe Christmas is already come and gone. I can't believe I am getting married in less than a month. It feels so strange but so exciting. I put together our schedule for the following week together and realized even with me having an entire week off I have no idea how we are going to get everything done. I feel like we started the trip off resting, recuperating. Jon is something else when he is jet lagged and I am still swollen and in very much pain. We have like 24 car options now and after praying about it we still don't have a conclusion. It is super fascinating. And instead of figuring it out we're watching Law and Order:SVU with Roberto :) and I like that quite a lot.

Helpless as a baby.

My mom feeds me with baby spoons because I can't open my jaw big enough for a regular one. My dad walks me down the stairs because Im too dizzy when I get up. It's a good time.

Wisdom Teeth.

Well after getting 4 impacted wisdom teeth out I sit here on vicodin. I had the wrong impression about it. I thought it was going to take the pain away. I thought it was going to make me loopy, tired and comfortable. All of which are untrue. I just finished watching Little Women. A fantastic movie. A classic. I love it. It makes me love my sisters all the more.

I will vent a little bit about my experience today at the dentist. As they started me on laughing gas my arms started going numb. The more numb they went the more I had to pee. I pondered to myself if I should say something or my body would just know to not pee my pants. I didn't want to risk it. I cautiously walked to the bath and tried to control the shaking of my body. As I made it back to the chair and started breathing in the gas again they dentist and hygienist came and sat next to me. As they made me open my mouth I flipped out inside. I wanted to yell and tell them I am far too conscious for them to start anything. After the started working a little they asked me how the gas was making me feel. I asked if I was going to be this conscious during the entire thing... and they said yes. I was not okay with that. I gagged, my tears watered, I squeezed some ladies hand. The drilling and banging around inside my mouth was unbearable. I felt like such a huge nasty wimp. But feeling him digging around inside of me was just the stupidest idea ever. They kept telling me to breathe more through my nose. Let me say that while your mouth is wide open, with what feels like 18 hands pulling my lips ways theyre not supposed to go and trying to hold your head still despite the pulling and prying is not at all simple. He kept saying "more aesthetic" and every time he said it I liked him more and more. They kept telling me to let my mind drift off to my wedding plans. Not helpful. Finally after what seemed like both teeth were removed from the right side he said, "ready for the last three?" I thought it was a joke. But it wasn't. I vowed to take the remainder of the time and use it to worship Jesus. I said Emily, pretend your being tortured for your faith. Haha. Looking back I guess that gas really did help a little. So as they began away on my second tooth I started singing in my mind, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come." I thought about Jaime and how we said that over and over again for an hour one time. So I prayed for Jaime. And I prayed for Jonathon a super lot. And thinking about Jonathon I thought about "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham, how we're going to use that song for worship in our wedding. So for the next three teeth I just sang "You're Beautiful" and "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty" over and over and over again. And as I sang in my mind I realized how many different levels of thoughts I have. Which is weird. Like I would be singing that, and than I would have a thought over that, like at the same time. It must have been the gas. But as I sang I thought, I wonder how God views worship when you are on laughing gas. And than I trumped that thought by realizing that God searches the heart and draws his worship from there and the gas isn't effecting my heart. And then I reached up and felt my heart beat and knew it was effecting my heart. But I couldn't tell if it was making it faster or slower. And it turned into a crazy theological debate with myself while still not stopping singing simultaneously in my mind. I didn't know that was possible. But it was. And it was crazy. And I realized what was happing and started writing a blog in my head. And it was all very screwy. And I decided I would lose my mind if I was addicted to drugs that did this to me every single day. After two teeth, they gave my jaw a break. So thoughtful. I had to pee again. It was ridiculous. I planned to hold it until I realized that last time I peed it was 915 and now it was 1105 and I was only halfway done. So I very apologetically asked to pee. She made me go in their bathroom in the back because they gave me two pills under my tongue since I was fighting off the aesthetic or something. When the whole thing was finally said and done I wrote notes on a yellow post it. I told her it was a lot worse than I expected. She said it was for her too, asked if my dentist told me but it was the worst theyd ever seen. Fascinating. I asked if it was because of my horrible gagging reflexes or the actual teeth. She said my teeth. And they gave me the amount of gas theyd give a 200 lb man. So cool. I wish I was knocked out. But $392 later I sit here in pain and annoyance with pees on my cheeks. About to watch Elf with my parents and Angela. Would you believe I even miss my babies in all this? I miss my babies so much.

Living with a boy.

I am so excited to live with a boy.

But I will miss talking to Jaime at night and getting the giggles that I try to contain in my chest so I don't keep her awake but somehow she hears them when they don't come out even.

She is great.

It's fun having a girl soul mate.

It's even more fun living with a girl soul mate.