Failed Blog.

I have decided that with all of the awesome things God is doing in the my life right now it would be a shame to not blog about it. But as I am trying to organize my thoughts I am at a strange loss for words. I will try again soon.

Hassling.

My family has been hassling me to blog.

I feel not an ounce of cleverness in my bones at all.

The laundry will be done drying in approximately 6 minutes and at that time I will remove it and probably just sleep instead of folding it since it is 1 am and I am so sleepy.

Yesterday my girl soul mate reminded me that Jesus owns every dollar in the world.

I like reminders like that.

Tomorrow Jon and I will go away for the night to celebrate our 1 year anniversary which will be taking place a week from now.

Jon woke up with a sore throat this morning, I came home from work with one tonight.

If both wake up more sick tomorrow I will not be happy.

Tonight I worked with awesome children.

They were in their cozy pajamas watching Monsters Inc. on mats with their blankets while their parents got a night out.

I offered to rub one little girls back because I saw her eyes getting pretty heavy, eager to continue watching the movie she thoughtfully responded, "It's okay Teacher Emily, I don't want you to rub my back because I don't want to give you my cold." How kind.

I like babies.

I like hearing of a child saying my name for the first time.

I also like children who speak in full sentences, because they are hilarious.

Sometimes, I get real happy that my husband likes me so much.

He makes me laugh all of the time, even when I am cranky and don't feel like laughing.

He also thinks I am the prettiest, even with a real horrible haircut that makes me look like I am a 16 year old in the 80s.

He is getting grossly better at having conversations with me where I don't have to do a bit of speaking and he just does it all.

Lame.

This might be my last blog in a long time because I never have time to write when I have important things to write. And then when I have time to write I have nothing important. Like this blog is a clear example of.

I long for sleep.

Goodnight.

November 23, 2010

A year ago today my best friend asked me to be his wife. Here's the story for memories sake.

Engagement.

Well, it has been forever since I have blogged. And with my recent excitement I figured there is not better time to start again. With the craziness of these past couple weeks I have officially lost my camera adapter. So I reluctantly will post the exciting story of my engagement without pictures.

Last Monday I went out to dinner with a few girlfriends and Jaime and I were going to go look at Christmas lights in Detroit. Jonathon was planning on coming home Tuesday night and I could barely contain my excitement to see him. As we ate dinner I tried my best to not rant and rave about him the entire time and I think I did pretty good. As the waiter came back with our bills to sign he handed me mine along with a letter. My heart began to race and I was physically shaking. As I unfolded the letter and read the words, “Hey Beautiful” I was floored. I read the letter and was informed that because Jonathon and I hadn’t been able to talk much the past few days he wanted to send me on a scavenger hunt. I was so anxious to finish it and it was just beginning. Jaime and I had a great time going from place to place and little did I know the hassle that went into it. I first went to Panera Bread where there were two iced green teas already purchased for Jaime and I. We were told to sit and enjoy them and get a free refill before we could go on. I have never tried to drink so fast. I cheated and poured half of mine into hers so we could leave quicker. We then were off to Barnes and Noble where I had to find a letter inside of “Crazy Love” and the new Bon Jovi book. In the first letter he made a statement about how he wished he could be there at the end but tomorrow will be awesome. Deep down I really wanted him to show up at some point but I knew his entire day and how he had this ridiculously long rehearsal and then had to go straight to sound check before his show.He had far too many details the past few days for it not to be true. But still I hoped. He then sent me to Bostons and Starbucks. The letter at Starbucks ended so nonchalantly that I was sure that it was it. I was told to sit and enjoy my time with Jaime and that my last surprise would come when I least expected it. So we left and headed home to drop off our food before we went to Detroit. My mind reeled on the way home. When I least expected it… Well, I expected it to be tonight, so I guess tomorrow is when I least expect it, which is when he’s coming in, so I guess that makes the most sense. Then he calls me. I answer with hesitation and question in my voice and he just goes off. Rehearsal was awful, the drummer is so unprofessional and they kind of got into it, he left the cable at home for his such and such pedal that he uses most frequently so he had to rig something together. Now he’s on his way to the venue and is trying to get a hold of his roommates so they can bring it since their both coming to the show but their not answering and oh Mike’s calling now and he’s pulling into the venue so he’ll call me after the show and he loves me so much. That clenched it. Jonathon was still in California and my scavenger hunt really was over. As we headed to downtown Detroit I was practically falling asleep and thinking that I cannot believe we’re just now leaving past ten and I have to work at 615 the next morning. So we ended up down by the big Christmas tree in Detroit and it was strange. No one was really there, we were just wandering around aimlessly and I thought the tree looked nice with the water all around it but was ready to leave already. A few moments later Jonathon comes walking around the tree. I freaked. We hugged; I wouldn’t let go of him. He asked me if I liked my last surprise and of course I said yes. It was so wonderful to see him a day early and he looked so handsome and all. He then proceeded to tell me he had one last surprise and said real nice things and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He pulled out the ring and opened up the box upside down. And I smiled a lot. I said yes. We hugged. We kissed. I was giddy. I was surprised. It was perfect. With as much as we talked about getting married I was sure I had his little plan all figured out. I was so wrong and I love that. I never thought he’d be able to surprise me. So now I am engaged to the most amazing man of God I have ever met. I get to be his wife. And being engaged is so much fun. I love wearing the ring. It is oh so perfect for me: simple, delicate, unique, mine. So that’s my story, without pictures, but perfect nonetheless. Being in love just keeps getting better and better.

Crazy Aunt.

It is hard not to be obsessed with my nephew.

Now I have a niece. Emily Jane.

I can't get enough and I have yet to even meet her.

Then in March I am supposed to find away to manage the love and obsession for yet another nephew. I love being an aunt. It is amazing. Too amazing for words more often than not.

I love kids enough as it is. But add the relational aspect to it all it's overbearing. My heart just explodes with love and adoration and joy.

I don't want to be some crazy aunt.

But I totally am.

Embrace your Place.

Last night at church a super fantastic woman of God, Christine Caine, spoke on 1 Corinthians 12. It was a very powerful reminder about the unique places we all have in the body of Christ, and that we can only carry out God's destiny for our life when we are in the place He has created us for.

During many a sermons I find an excitement in my mind when the Pastor calls out a passage of scripture that I have just finished reading on my own. And a majority of the time I end up in shameful disbelief that I so greatly missed such an amazing message in that portion of scripture. Last night was no different. She referenced back to Moses killing the Egyptian over the injustice of his treatment toward the Hebrew. By his own strength he was able to save one Hebrew. But when he was in the place God had for him, the back of the desert working, was when God began to launch him into his destiny of saving millions of Hebrews. Also, God waited to speak to Moses until Moses was looking at the burning bush... not just in the proximity of it. I missed every bit of that when I read that on my own just a couple weeks ago. And rewriting it now it just seems like such common sense. I love the wisdom God blesses to teachers, but I want it for my own self.

I also want to be in the place God has for me.

I am stuck in a place with my job.

I can't figure out if I am still in it because I am scared to step out into the unknown of what God has for me.

Or if I am being wise and waiting on the Lord's direction.

Or if this really is the place that God is going to launch me from.

Sometimes when it comes to life Im no good.

Like how I woke up an hour late this morning and now there is a line to do laundry.

And how I ended up sitting here, drinking coffee, writing a blog instead of running.

I am going running now.

And if there is still a line for laundry when I get back maybe I will go rollerblading.

And maybe Ill just work out forever until my husband wakes up because he's sick and Im sad he's sick.

There are a lot of people in my life from Michigan that I miss.

God loves me so crazy much.

Setting the scene:

Date Night.

Barnes and Noble.

Christianity Section.

Bible Shelves for more accuracy.

Jon and I stood staring up and down these two shelves for my long since desired ESV Study Bible. When we had thoroughly exhausted the search after many many minutes:

Jon: Well this sucks.

Proceeds to begin walking away.

Me: No Jon! Maybe if we just stare longer it will show up.

Jon: laughs and obliges.

We stare for many many more minutes.

And then I notice at the end of a shelf one Bible turned with the bottom facing out.

I look.

I say: Oh my gosh. This is it.

I remove it.

And it's it.

Large Print.

Nasty.

But with hope I practically skip through the store searching for the man who can tell me if there's a copy for healthy eyes.

[And at this moment typing this out I realize that probably would have been easier from the beginning, but then I probably wouldn't be blogging now, so maybe thats the reason God withheld that wisdom from our minds... or we're just dumb]

Anyways. I think that rant was too long for parenthesis, but clearly this blog is too exciting for correct grammar so what does it really matter.

And now that I think about it, I do not know the correct etiquette for parenthesis.

Anyways so the man searches the computer, yay they have it.

Searches the shelf... which I had informed him had already been done but then realized that God made my last joke turn real life so maybe he'll see it.

He doesn't.

He goes to the back room.

Comes out empty handed.

Apologizes.

I'm real sad.

But hopeful, because God turned my joke into reality and I knew he loves me too much to tease me like that.

What seemed like many minutes later after searching for other such exciting discoveries my B&N worker friend came back... My dream bible in tow.

Jon and I read John. Then Proverbs, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Psalm, and 1 Peter, all in part of course.

And it has been one of my most favorite date nights.

God and Sleep.

Sometimes it is the hardest for me to sleep when God is moving so mightily.

Right now is one of those moments.

God is just stirring something.

And I want it all right now.

Oh there is so much more time I need with God.

Guiltless.

I bought clothes for myself today.

I didn't buy one thing for another person.

This is the first time ever I do not feel guilty about this.

And it will probably be the last.

Lead Me. Blog number Two.

So a bit and a while ago I posted the amazing song "Lead me", which of course stirred my heart because my husband rocks at life and I desired for all men to cry out to God like this.

And then about a week ago Jon began to lead us in worship and asked me what I wanted to sing.

(In this I will admit one of my greatest flaws as I wife which I am happy to say I am getting better at, but this night obviously was not.)

I really wanted to sing "How He Loves" by Misty Edwards because well, if you've heard it you wouldn't need to know why.

But instead of just saying that I said, "oh Jon whatever you want will be lovely with me blah blah"

So he pressed a little more to know what I really wanted because he's genius and knew I was lying, but I am stubborn and he caved and chose "Lead me"

Now at this point in the story you should see my amazing appreciation as a wife to have a husband with such an anointing and intense gift about to lead me in worship...

Instead you will see my selfish, sinful irritation that Jon would choose to lead me in a song that should be his alone time worship and not a girl worship.

So of course, knowing I brought this on myself I kept quiet, attempted to sing a bit and actually have my heart and soul worship with the words, which they did not because I suck.

Afterwards my amazingly smart husband led us in "How He Loves" without my nudge in the least and I then appreciated his awesome thoughts and the rest of our night of worship.

Then Jon made us a new cd in which the first song is in fact, "Lead Me."

So Jon plays this on our way to San Diego.

And then I hear it...

God tugging away at my heart and telling me to put my silliness aside and pray this prayer to Him.

Ahh and now I pray it everyday all the time since.

It's amazing.

It's a cry of social justice.

Picture that homeless man you wouldn't even look at for a second glance the other day:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that orphan you feel like will be fine without the money you need to buy coffee:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that ultra-sound of the child that was aborted before they had a chance:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that friend you won't tell about Jesus:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Seeing the faces in my mind and hearing the cry for peace, love and social justice is what has brought me before the LORD crying out:

"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

Busy.

I all of a sudden feel like I have too much to do to sleep at night.

But I want to wake up and run with my husband while still getting a decent night sleep.

I am determined to be asleep by 11 tonight...