Some thoughts since I have been up.
-From the time I woke up at 6 until I left at 720 my dad had not moved spots sitting in front of his computer working on "stuff". Sad
- If I ever tell you I have to stop by Babies R' Us never under no circumstance let me do it. EVER. I do not care what excuse I give. Slit my tires if it is necessary. Or don't because that would ruin the whole point of not spending money. But really. Being an aunt is expensive. Plus. My sister told me she wouldn't care if I went to SA as long as I washed it... and yet I didn't ERGG!
-I love the rain. So much.
-When I see a young couple together I get jealous. My heart aches. Really aches. Not like a mind thing where I just say it because my mind feels achey, but where my heart physically aches. This couple I saw today was either just newly together or they have been for a long time now. (What a conclusion huh?). Well as they stood in line at Starbucks she just looked up with pure joy on her face. She thought he rocked. No other guy could make her smile like that. Her eyes glowed. She was not the typical Abercrombie hot beauty we think of when we think of beautiful. But she was lovely. The way her eyes glowed and smile radiated was precious and beautiful. A look not even the best outfit and give off. And he. He could not keep his hands off of her. Not in the annoying PDA type of way. But the I am so proud that this beautiful girl is mine way. The way he held one of her hands with both of his or pulled her close to him with his gentle hand on her side. The way you could just tell his heart was pounding through his chest because he knew he was with the best girl there was. In the way he looked at her it was obvious that what he knew was inside of her no one else could see. She had something so unique and amazing about her he could not fathom the thought of taking his hand off of her. He wanted every guy in that place to know that no, they weren't just friends studying together. She was his. I stared at them for if we're being honest probably five minutes as they waited in line, ordered their drinks and waited for their drinks. They didn't even notice and five minutes is a long time. They were so engrossed in each other nothing else mattered.
As they walked back to their table I cried a little because I miss Jonathon. When we were at a Goo Goo Dolls concert over a year ago we stood in the middle of a crowd of drunk people smoking their joints and screaming their guts out. When they started to play "Let Love in" nothing around me mattered. The smells of marijuana were gone, the obnoxious people around me did not even catch my eye. I just stood in front of Jonathon and as he held me my heart raced and was so calm at the same time. It was the most amazing feeling of elation that I will never forget. It was like I was outside of my body watching him hold me and loving every moment of the feeling of his arms holding me so closely. I miss those times. I miss walking down the street hand in hand. I miss taking naps as my head rests perfectly on his chest. I miss the feeling of his arms holding me tight in the amazing hugs he gives. I miss the way his hand gently holds my side as we stand together. I miss the way he opens doors for me. The way he rubs my feet after we've had a long walk. The way he cooks me scrambled eggs for breakfast and makes me ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch.
I miss his voice. These past few day we have not really talked. He has a lot to do and until today I did not even realize how little we have talked because God has been filling my time with himself and loving on me which I just love him for. Otherwise I know I would be pestering Jonathon to no end trying to get him to text me nonstop or talk to me all night instead of record. But now I am a little sad. I love Jonathon's voice. I love when he laughs and tells me I'm beautiful. When he "acknowledges my cuteness". I love that he asks me if I have had my quiet time with Jesus yet and that if I say no he asks me when I plan on doing it. I love that he tells me he misses me. I love that he tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, even though I remind him I am pretty crazy and a lot needy. I love that we're still in love. I love that distance cannot break us. I love Jonathon. I get to see him in 14 days if work does not call him to NYC. I cannot wait. Sometimes really all I want to do is hug him. For him to kiss my forehead and brush his fingers through my nasty unwashed and 14 layers of hairspray hair. To get lost in his arms and never have to be found by anyone. He is the greatest boyfriend ever.
Hmm. Well that was a rant and tears I was not expecting.
More?
-I am reading a book of a friend's old blogs from 2005. I have only known her since September. On October 17, 2005 she said something about her road trip to California. I stopped reading looked up and said oh the timing of it all God all giddy and such. And I continued to read the parenthesis that say (thats for Emily). Are you kidding God?! Sure it was a different Emily three years ago. But now it is me. End of story. Geeze. The way God spends so much time to speak to me so perfectly and clearly is insane to me.
-I wrote with a feather pen at Starbucks today and got a few weird looks. I loved it.
-One of the guys who worked there while fixing up the little creamer island thing turned to me and said, "Are you studying over here?" I said, "No, I mean, uh ya but not school stuff." End of conversation. Great witnessing Em. You sure deserve a pat on the back for that one.
-I said I was going to pray for anyone who walked out of the doors specifically and individually. I prayed for seven people because I got so engrossed in writing and reading. Way to rock at being a prayer warrior and intercessor Emily.
I'm done. I get to go see Zechariah in forty minutes and since Nicole is sick I plan on putting all of his new clothes in a cute bag so she can open a present! :)
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