Embrace your Place.

Last night at church a super fantastic woman of God, Christine Caine, spoke on 1 Corinthians 12. It was a very powerful reminder about the unique places we all have in the body of Christ, and that we can only carry out God's destiny for our life when we are in the place He has created us for.

During many a sermons I find an excitement in my mind when the Pastor calls out a passage of scripture that I have just finished reading on my own. And a majority of the time I end up in shameful disbelief that I so greatly missed such an amazing message in that portion of scripture. Last night was no different. She referenced back to Moses killing the Egyptian over the injustice of his treatment toward the Hebrew. By his own strength he was able to save one Hebrew. But when he was in the place God had for him, the back of the desert working, was when God began to launch him into his destiny of saving millions of Hebrews. Also, God waited to speak to Moses until Moses was looking at the burning bush... not just in the proximity of it. I missed every bit of that when I read that on my own just a couple weeks ago. And rewriting it now it just seems like such common sense. I love the wisdom God blesses to teachers, but I want it for my own self.

I also want to be in the place God has for me.

I am stuck in a place with my job.

I can't figure out if I am still in it because I am scared to step out into the unknown of what God has for me.

Or if I am being wise and waiting on the Lord's direction.

Or if this really is the place that God is going to launch me from.

Sometimes when it comes to life Im no good.

Like how I woke up an hour late this morning and now there is a line to do laundry.

And how I ended up sitting here, drinking coffee, writing a blog instead of running.

I am going running now.

And if there is still a line for laundry when I get back maybe I will go rollerblading.

And maybe Ill just work out forever until my husband wakes up because he's sick and Im sad he's sick.

There are a lot of people in my life from Michigan that I miss.

God loves me so crazy much.

Setting the scene:

Date Night.

Barnes and Noble.

Christianity Section.

Bible Shelves for more accuracy.

Jon and I stood staring up and down these two shelves for my long since desired ESV Study Bible. When we had thoroughly exhausted the search after many many minutes:

Jon: Well this sucks.

Proceeds to begin walking away.

Me: No Jon! Maybe if we just stare longer it will show up.

Jon: laughs and obliges.

We stare for many many more minutes.

And then I notice at the end of a shelf one Bible turned with the bottom facing out.

I look.

I say: Oh my gosh. This is it.

I remove it.

And it's it.

Large Print.

Nasty.

But with hope I practically skip through the store searching for the man who can tell me if there's a copy for healthy eyes.

[And at this moment typing this out I realize that probably would have been easier from the beginning, but then I probably wouldn't be blogging now, so maybe thats the reason God withheld that wisdom from our minds... or we're just dumb]

Anyways. I think that rant was too long for parenthesis, but clearly this blog is too exciting for correct grammar so what does it really matter.

And now that I think about it, I do not know the correct etiquette for parenthesis.

Anyways so the man searches the computer, yay they have it.

Searches the shelf... which I had informed him had already been done but then realized that God made my last joke turn real life so maybe he'll see it.

He doesn't.

He goes to the back room.

Comes out empty handed.

Apologizes.

I'm real sad.

But hopeful, because God turned my joke into reality and I knew he loves me too much to tease me like that.

What seemed like many minutes later after searching for other such exciting discoveries my B&N worker friend came back... My dream bible in tow.

Jon and I read John. Then Proverbs, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Psalm, and 1 Peter, all in part of course.

And it has been one of my most favorite date nights.

God and Sleep.

Sometimes it is the hardest for me to sleep when God is moving so mightily.

Right now is one of those moments.

God is just stirring something.

And I want it all right now.

Oh there is so much more time I need with God.

Guiltless.

I bought clothes for myself today.

I didn't buy one thing for another person.

This is the first time ever I do not feel guilty about this.

And it will probably be the last.

Lead Me. Blog number Two.

So a bit and a while ago I posted the amazing song "Lead me", which of course stirred my heart because my husband rocks at life and I desired for all men to cry out to God like this.

And then about a week ago Jon began to lead us in worship and asked me what I wanted to sing.

(In this I will admit one of my greatest flaws as I wife which I am happy to say I am getting better at, but this night obviously was not.)

I really wanted to sing "How He Loves" by Misty Edwards because well, if you've heard it you wouldn't need to know why.

But instead of just saying that I said, "oh Jon whatever you want will be lovely with me blah blah"

So he pressed a little more to know what I really wanted because he's genius and knew I was lying, but I am stubborn and he caved and chose "Lead me"

Now at this point in the story you should see my amazing appreciation as a wife to have a husband with such an anointing and intense gift about to lead me in worship...

Instead you will see my selfish, sinful irritation that Jon would choose to lead me in a song that should be his alone time worship and not a girl worship.

So of course, knowing I brought this on myself I kept quiet, attempted to sing a bit and actually have my heart and soul worship with the words, which they did not because I suck.

Afterwards my amazingly smart husband led us in "How He Loves" without my nudge in the least and I then appreciated his awesome thoughts and the rest of our night of worship.

Then Jon made us a new cd in which the first song is in fact, "Lead Me."

So Jon plays this on our way to San Diego.

And then I hear it...

God tugging away at my heart and telling me to put my silliness aside and pray this prayer to Him.

Ahh and now I pray it everyday all the time since.

It's amazing.

It's a cry of social justice.

Picture that homeless man you wouldn't even look at for a second glance the other day:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that orphan you feel like will be fine without the money you need to buy coffee:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that ultra-sound of the child that was aborted before they had a chance:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Picture that friend you won't tell about Jesus:

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

Seeing the faces in my mind and hearing the cry for peace, love and social justice is what has brought me before the LORD crying out:

"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

Busy.

I all of a sudden feel like I have too much to do to sleep at night.

But I want to wake up and run with my husband while still getting a decent night sleep.

I am determined to be asleep by 11 tonight...