I saw this on postsecret.com just now and didn't, but kind of wanted to cry. 

I could not imagine what this would be like. 

I cannot stop praising God for my family.

hair color.

Jonathon got his hair dyed darker today.  In attempting to be honest and share that I like his natural color much better I accidently told him he looked less attractive.  Wow, I rock at being a girlfriend sometimes.  

Proverbs.

I just must share a few verses from Proverbs that seem perfectly fitting considering my last post and how great God is in speaking to our hearts.

From Chapter 14

verse 5:  A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies

verse 11:  The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish

verse 23:  In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty

verse 25:  A truthful witness saves lives, but one who breathes out lies is deceitful

verse 26:  In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have refuge

verse 29:  Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly

verse 33:  Wisdom rests in the heart of a man of understanding, but it makes itself known even in the midst of fools

And we continue past Proverbs...

Romans 5:35- More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame because God's  love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Ephesians 3:16- That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.

Ephesians 4:26- Be angry and do not sin

Jude 20-21- But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life.

Revelation 3:1- ...I know your works.  You have a reputation or being alive, but you are dead.

Revelation 22:17- The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come."  And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires the water of life without price.  

I love when I allow God to lead where I flip to and to have a quiet heart to hear and see where he is pointing for me to read.  We can just talk like that.  I am so blessed and love my God and my Savior so much.  I am confident that April 28, 2008 I was baptized in the Holy Spirit.  I praise God for blessing me with this amazing gift and I will praise his name for that night always.  My relationship with him has not been the same since.  I cannot believe that was less than a year ago!  How quickly God does work.  Oh I am so in love!! 

Tomorrow morning I will wake up at 856 am to the following.

Oh Happy Day Happy Day!

You washed my sin away

Oh Happy Day Happy Day!

Ill never be the same.

Forever I am changed

How glorious. 

Maybe I should not blog about this.

. So I wont. 

It has been awhile.

I have not posted anything new lately because God has just proven himself far too big to be discussed in earthly terms at this moment in my life.  And instead of trying to do my best I must find a good cooking activity to do with four year olds that could be incorporated into the theme of Creation.  oh geeze.

I am so tired.

Good morning Lord

Today's a brand new day

Won't you come along and walk with me every step of the way?

yawn...

Once every three years (fashionable late ) Christmas letter

(I thought I would post my dad's "Christmas letter" that he just emailed out to our family.  He makes me laugh.  I am so blessed to have such an amazing man of God as my father, to love me and model what it means to be a follower of Christ)

Greetings Family,

Thought we should get you up to date on our family.

Angela (16) is a sophmore. Favorite subject: snow/cold days; Favorite sport: Wii (but we don't have one) so she cannot play her favorite sport; I suggested moving fire wood; she agreed to drive the tractor, still scratching my bald head on how that works out for me; High school beats middle school; crafts & creating jewelry; continually has the cleanest, neatest, organizest, cutely decorated bedroom I've EVER seen.

Yoojin (17): She's a fashion statement; snowboards; is pleased there are many good looking boys in the world; has a double-digit GPA ... almost; when she is not studying she is studying, and when she is not studying or studying ... she is studyng; she makes my head hurt; that is why we take her out and push her down steep icy hills; haven't asked her if American boys or Korean boys are cuter, I'm sure she would be gracious in her response.

Emily (19): I'm told she still lives at our house. I have an appointment to meet with her ... two weeks from Tuesday, nice of her to fit me into her schedule; her boy makes music out in LA; she takes care of kids in Michigan; she flies east and west a lot; I think she likes the boy. Early childhood; great pre-schooler stories at the end of her work day; May still be on track for associates in early childhood in May, I should ask her (Scratch that, August); She makes me dizzy sometimes. You can read about her car (Irma) on her facebook, now that's a "trip."

Mike (23) & Denise (23): Newly-weds; A bit of a rebel duo; She likes the boy, he likes the girl, that's a good thing; Apartment with the fewest CUBIC feet in metro Detroit, enough room for a half a visitor at a time; physical therapy duo (AKA: Pay for PAIN); Aug 09 begin 11 month world mission trip.


Eric (30 something) & Nicole (24): Car & sports man (Madden 2009, look out); great appreciation for history and nostalgia; very pregnant mother-to-be (Feb 2 due date); setting up new temporary home; Nicole's last empoyment stint: school photographer; ok, anytime now we're ready to call Pam, "grandma" ...

Tim & Pam began our 26th year together on July 16, 2008, We went to the chapel to renew our vows. That week was the greatest week.
Pam (very young grandma-to-be): Has probably had enough fun working in church offices; presently full-time homemaker. She likes me, that's grand; loves holding babies (BACK OFF grandma!), you have to let the mother hold her baby, could be issues here; learning the art of transition.

Tim (Not quite so young grandpa-to-be): In transition,...moving into a ministry sabbath. stepping out of current ministry; taking a breath, then the next step, don't know what that is yet, this is an interesting place to be; Everyone should do it sometime , ... just for fun! Our kids are cheering us on; Living in Metro Detroit in 2008-9, whoa baby, just read the papers on that one. Our life has taken the most interesting of twists and turns, wouldn't trade it for the world.

We cannot even begin to describe how the Holy Spirit has turned our life around, up-side-down, and in-side-out over the last two and a half years. If you like a life cool and steady, be sure NEVER to sincerely utter the words out loud, " Jesus, you can do WHATEVER you want to do with me." :) His journey has us on a somewhat new and refreshed path, and we have no intention of turning back.

Attached are some family update pictues for you to see.

Blessings to you all,
Tim, Pam, and family

text messages.

I am so ridiculously in love with Jonathon Ketchum.  We have not spoken on the phone all day (sigh of depression), yet somehow as I lay in bed tonight my heart is racing with love for him!  Like the racing where I am all giddy and nervous like we just had this amazing conversation or I am about to see him for the first time in three months.  I am not really sure actually.  But this feeling can all come as a result of a few text messages where he can in the most simple words tell me so eloquently how much he loves me.  It is so amazing to me that in the middle of his nonstop recording and mixing and practicing and go go go.ing (haha. get it Jonathon) he manages to take the few moments to sweep me off my feet ( whats that called? broom).  I know this is cheesy, but would you like some cheesecake?  I apologize for this post turned corny jokes that make Jonathon and my knees go wobbly at the thought of them.  I mean it is late and I am just giddy in love and sort of am venting all of the things jokes I should not bother Jonathon with via text in the middle of his intense recording session.  It is a funny feeling to feel like I am laughing with Jonathon right now.  Okay sleep. Seriously. 

church.

Sufficient to say; these past couple months I have been disappointed, disheartened, ashamed and very hurt by the Christian Church.  I have visited many churches and been saddened by what they are portraying to visitors about what Jesus is all about.  Sunday morning at 10:15 am my dad came down and said, "Emily, where should we go to church?  We have to leave in 15 minutes."  

What an awakening!  I rattled my brain and everywhere I thought was immediately dismissed.  Finally we all agreed on the Korean Methodist Church on Dequindre and something mile road.  We surprisingly made it out the door by 10:30 and my parents, Eujin and I sat in the car on M-53 for over twenty minutes waiting for a truck to be pulled out of the ditch.  We ended up at Panera Bread with open Bibles and contrite hearts.  We prayed, read, discussed, questioned and challenged each other through what God had to say through His word.  

My whole life I have grown up with it pounded in my mind that you never, under no circumstances miss Sunday morning church.  As a family, we did and it was the most amazing experience.  God confirmed His word to me when He said in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."  There were four of us :)

I was anxious to go to Lighthouse that evening because believe it or not we did not sing out praises to God in the middle of Panera Bread.  Worshipping God through music is so amazing to me.  As I hear the drums beating I can feel God beating in my heart.  As I hear the chords strumming I can feel his Spirit gently blowing over me.  And as I hear my own voice singing out to my Father and Savior I am comforted by Psalm 95, "Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!" 

One reason I love lighthouse so much is because the darkness keeps my eyes and heart focused on God and not on the people around me which could be very distracting since I am an unashamed people watcher.  But last night after the message I felt the Spirit of God encouraging me to open my eyes and look around.  As I did my eyes were immediately filling up with tears and my raised arms began to tingle with a sensation I have not experienced before.  I looked in front of my and saw most every hand raised in the air as a group of young believers shouted to God that "We exalt thee!!"  I was overwhelmed and out loud I just began praising God and thanking him so much for what he had shown me.  There is a passion for Jesus Christ.  

I have been aching inside lately at the thought of so many different proclaimed Christians.  The sadness that they are so missing out on the intimate relationship God desires for them, the hurt that we are fellow believers but I cannot connect with them because we view Christianity to be very different, and the anger that they are ruining it for so many nonbelievers.  But God just showed me that though this may be true, there is still hope for His church.  Because after all, Jesus is the rock and the solid foundation so it will not be brought to the ground.  Later on during the worship we sang a song that proclaimed how hungry we were for more of Jesus.  It was beautiful to look around and see so many young and yearning people.  I can only imagine how God fed each one of his beautiful children who were calling out to him that night.  He is good and He is great.  

I booked three plane tickets to California at the end of February.  Woa I am pumped. 

woa.

God was so amazing to me tonight and I am excited to share. But at the moment I am far too tired so I will sleep.

All knowing.

Oh and it is nice to know that God is all knowing and that no one can do exactly what he needs me to do because I do this obnoxious thing sometimes that every girl can probably relate to.  It is basically where I pick myself apart and realize that I am not all that unique.  Where with every supposed unique thing about me I think of a girl I know how has it more or more authentically.  This is not a pity post in hopes of hearing how wonderful I am and such.  I know that because as I posted earlier about that half topped girl, Jesus thinks I am so awesome because He wanted to die for me because he is so stinkin in love with me he wanted to do everything he could to make sure I could spend eternity with him.  And he did because he rocks just that much.  But I have not read my Bible today at all and feel as though because of it I am listening to all of the lies Satan is trying to feed me about myself because I have not been filled with what God has to say about me. Why am I dumb?  I will not take it.  I am given authority over Satan and so I do not have to take this from him.  My journal misses me.  These are posts people should not have to read.  Accept my sincere apologies.  ( I am still not deleting it though because than I will feel like I have to write it all again, and that is just a waste)  

Flight.

PS. I am booking my flight when my deposit goes through. oh giddy joy.

Two online classes started yesterday.  I dropped one and am already behind in the other :)  So unlike me and so aggravating.  There are so many more exciting things to do that it seems so silly right now.  Too bad health insurance is so important. 

Psychology beckons me... 

Awesome friends.

I am just going to proclaim that I love spontaneity!!!  My last California trip was decided in one day.  Booked three days later when I had the courage to ask off of work.  Today a very dear friend called up and said that two of my friends and I are going to California at the end of February if Jon has room for us.  He will be moved into his three bedroom apartment with two other guys so yes, plenty of room.  Not eight hours later my computer screen is screaming out the price of airline tickets.  I nervously anticipate calling work tomorrow to ask how feasible and how much they would hate me if I could have three days off of work. Problem is I just requested off a whole week to go on a mission trip.  That is a side note I pray God will work out.  I just love how God does these things for Jon and I.  I mean here we are across the country and we have gotten to see each other so fricken much.  It is insane.  All of the ways we were able to I know God totally planned out to the very detail and I just love that He is so supportive of our relationship.  It gives me so much confidence in believing that Jon and I are together not just because our human reactions to each other make us feel all giddy and in love, but because God has created us to be together at this time.  He works through Jonathon in so many ways in my life that I just cannot get enough of either of them!  Sometimes when Jonathon talks I just get all tingly because I know that at that moment he has been so entirely used by God to speak to me.  But all in love jibberish aside that people probably puke over, I am not getting my hopes up because the plane is not booked and I am not there yet.  Although things seem to be falling into place two of us excited girls still need the time off from work.  Trusting in God no matter what he does with this opportunity :)      

deal.

After discussing the possibility of me moving to California before we get married Jonathon and I had this brief moment that I just had to document...

Me: Okay I have a deal..

Jonathon: wait wait!  hang on a minute!! (in a very dramatic tone inferring how unreasonable I was being :)

long pause....

Jonathon: well tell me the deal first

Me: haha. okay what were you waiting for?

Jonathon: Im not sure

I love him.

Yay for purpose.

Okay so basically my passion is children end of story. 

I struggle with it a lot because I feel like right now I am being pretty selfish with it considering I get paid for my job and babysitting and the like.  In two days I get to watch three different families for free.  Now this may seem like I am complaining because that is time I could be using to make money. But I am not.  This to me is the greatest joy ever and I cannot praise God enough for it. Seriously this weekend is the most amazing gift from God I am just itching to open!!  I have been crying out to God trying to figure out what he wants more from me.  This may seem silly to many people but I feel like by providing me with families who I know will be thankful for a free babysitter God is using me in a way I just love Him for!  I sometimes just get tired of leaving places with money in hand.  

My dad is out a job.  He resigned on Tuesday.  My mom is out a job.  No one in my family knows where we will be at the end of this month.  I love this feeling.  People think I am crazy, they talk about how scared I must be and how hard this must be for all of us.  Hard? Sure.  Scary? Maybe a tad.  But I cannot get over the excitement of trusting everything into God's hand.  I love knowing knowing full well that He will provide. 

43 minutes.

I do not want to be one to complain, but my two online classes start in 43 minutes.  They are not worth waiting up for like Jimmy Kimmel was so I am going to try to sleep.  Oh, to be back in the day when Nyquil actually worked to help me sleep! Oh well.  And just for the record I hate everything about how myspace is basically just porn and makes me have such mixed feelings about myself.  Disgusting.  I do not know how girls can do that to themselves.  I help Jon maintain his myspace because well, its basically a huge place for music.  I noticed this one girl's picture and the caption under it.  It is her pulling down her shirt so everyone can see over half her boobs.  The caption read something to the effect of just because she is pulling down her shirt does not mean guys can leave stupid comments.  Why the heck did you post it then?  So girls could leave cute comments about your hair?  And P.S. there were over 100 comment of guys leaving nasty comments.  If I was trying to steer clear of perverted guys leaving sexual messages I would first off keep my shirt on, and second off delete the nasty comments.  I am half enraged that this is the crap my boyfriend has to deal with, and half overwhelmed with sadness for this girl.  I mean I do not know anything about her except that I know she is fricken great because Jesus fell in love with her and wanted to die for her so that he could spend eternity with her in heaven!! I mean, she has to be pretty awesome for that.  Yet her only satisfaction comes from perverted guys admiring her body.  Poor girl.  I wish girls could see that they are so much more than that!  

Sinus Headache..

So I have this super great headache that woke me up this morning and it is still here! Way awesome. I am taking advantage of the day off and after running a few errands with my mom and feeling like I might pass out, I headed over to Jon's house and here I sit.  Tea, computer, Gilmore girls, couch, quilt, and his little brother Roberto who is also sick. Super great. Ha. 

11:14

46 minutes until Jimmy Kimmel.  He is not my favorite man ever but Jonathon is in the audience because his friend is the drummer for David Cook and on and on so I am sick but pushing myself to stay awake. 

More tea!! 

Sick and in love...

Today I woke up sicker than when I fell asleep last night.  Majorly sore throat, a headache I could not kick all day, and a way great runny nose!  It is not the worst of all sicknesses, but it is a pain.  My family was all gone and I had the house to myself until 930 tonight.  Not that I do not love my family, but it made me wish I had my own place.  I drank oolong tea all day, watched Gilmore Girls, ate tapioca pudding, and sat on my couch and scrap booked.  It was an amazing day.  As my night came to a close I put in Roman Holiday.  It was a perfect choice.  I felt for Audrey, aka Princess Ann.  She just up and took a day out of her busy life and did everything that she wanted to do, with no regard for the responsibilities she had.  That is how I felt today.  There are plenty of things on my ever growing to do list.  Yet today, I did not even look at it.  I relaxed and did the few simple things in life that I feel refresh me.  God and I talked.  He is so good.  We just sat together and we enjoyed our time alone.  And when I put in Roman Holiday I knew he was watching it with me.  Call me crazy okay.  But I am so convinced that God enjoys doing things that we want to do and enjoy.  Kind of like Jonathon does for me sometimes.  Over a year ago Jonathon and I ordered take out Chinese food and he watched Roman Holiday with me.  Now initially this was obviously just because he wanted to do something that would make me happy, not because he wanted to watch the movie.  But as the movie came to a close it was obvious that he was thoroughly enjoying the movie.  And as it ended... he went into a fury at the ending :)  We have just grown to enjoy doing things together that are not always initially enjoyable to both of us.  But I do not think that is something God has had to grow into doing.  From the very beginning of my life I know that God has spent time doing things I enjoy.  I know He laughed with my dad and I as we dove into the waves in Lake Michigan during a downfall.  I know He cheered me on at my soccer games and winced as I twisted my ankle or tore my quad.  He is just that great and that personal with me.  

This past week as I feel like I have suffered through a little bit of depression again I do not feel super distant from God as many might imagine.  It is quite the contrary.  I have felt him comfort me and just spend time with me when my top priority has not been spending time with him.  I have felt him pursue me when I have not been pursuing him.  Most importantly though, I have felt him fight for me when I have been too weak to fight.  I am a firm believer that there is constant spiritual warfare and Satan is always sending his demons to attack us and try to take us away from God.  As much as I have felt them attacking me with feelings of depression I feel God fighting them off for me.  It kind of reminds me of the last scene of the Everything Skit... I am so in love with my Savior.  

hair.

My dear mother just said, "wow Emily, even your hair looks grouchy."

If that shows anything of what my family has to put up with when I don't get to talk to Jon.

I feel so bad for them, they are so good to me and I truly do not deserve it. 

Off to finish setting up for the baby shower tomorrow!! Praying for anything to change my mood.

Power.

I apologize in advance for this blog.  I am half asleep but wanting to read my Bible.  I am far too tired to use a feather pen and my other journal is upstairs on the counter. I am lazy, and so I will type. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

-2 Corinthians 12:9

At a time where I feel as though I have nothing, this verse rings loudly in my mind.  I am just reassured that I have nothing but weakness so at some point God's strength and power will be revealed.   

Luke 4:35

"But Jesus rebuked him saying, "Be silent and come out of him.""

Okay so this will never cease to amaze me.  It is no big surprise that Jesus can cast out demons.  I mean, He is God and He did defeat them when He rose from the dead.  He was just great like that.  But look at Emily for a brief moment.  We do not need to sugarcoat this at all.  I am not so great.  I screw up bad, every day.  I claim to have this crazy desire to walk in step with the Spirit intuitively every day, but than I keep my Bible tucked away in my purse for a few days and wake up complaining about the day rather than praising God that He gave me another one!  I am just flat out dumb.  But according to God I can say, "Be silent and come out of him."  Not only can I say it, but it will happen!  No where in me do I have the authority or strength to cast out demons.  But praise God for his grace and for my stupid human weaknesses because I can open myself up to His will and allow his Power to be made perfect!!  His power to defeat Satan at the cross and on the day He rose has been passed onto me.  Big stuff.  I have been discussing such related material for the past several weeks pretty much nonstop.  Yet I am still blown away!!! It is insane.  And I like that God showed me these two verses tonight and put them together for me.  They fit nicely.  Now I will sleep.  I will be honest about how I wake up in the morning.  Hold me accountable. I need that.  

Wonderful.

This morning I woke up with a voicemail from Jonathon.  I crawled out of bed so happy and excited to listen to it.  After I listened to it when I got in the car I realized that if I had not had that voicemail, I would have been cranky and pissed off when I woke up.  Yet everyday I wake up to God, and He is much better than Jonathon.  I mean honestly, He made the fricken day I am waking up to.  I know He has already forgiven me for my selfish stupidity, but I haven't yet.  I am pretty pissed at myself about it.  Tomorrow WILL be different.  Just you wait.   

When I got home from work my mom said, "Wow Emily, you must feel how you look."  As I slowly turned to her my dad chimed in, "and by that she means you must feel wonderful!"  Who would have guessed he has four daughters, a wife, and a female dog... literally.  He is a good man with a very wonderful wife.  

and Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me"

It is exciting to have a super amazingly talented boyfriend. 

Sometimes I think the children at my work help me more than I help them.  Honestly without them I do not think I would have made it through my day.  Their bright smiles, tight hugs, and loud laughs brought so much joy to my day.  I go to work to serve the beautiful children God has created.  I use the talents he has given me to encourage their exploration of the world around them and I could not be more blessed with a better opportunity. I love it.  Today I felt so selfish though.  They taught me more than I could have possibly taught them, but God used them to bring joy to my heart.  

One girl wakes up about an hour early from nap without fail.  Usually she comes over to the group of about three teachers and just makes her way around soaking up all of our attention.  today she walked over with her blanket and climbed up in my lap.  We rocked for over twenty minutes and she just cuddled so close to me.  We talked, laughed, counted, sang, and just smiled together.  Every time I turned my head away from her she would gently reach up to my cheek and pull my face back toward hers.  It was so beautiful and I so selfishly needed her to love on me like that.  It was hard not to cry realizing once again how God so quickly instills beauty, love, and compassion in His children.  It is amazing to me that God knows each of our hearts so intimately that He can begin to heal the pain in a way so unexpected.  I love Him for that and so much more.    

Hate it.

I spent three solid weeks with Jonathon.  We spent at least a portion of every day together and most days through the night even.  Sure we were busy and we had a lot to take care of and worry about, but we were together.  He has been gone since Friday.  We have barely gotten to talk.  I was used to this before, but three weeks of seeing him every day has made this a new phenomenon for me.  Not being able to talk to him has honestly made it difficult to talk to anyone else.  Talking is not work for me, ever.  It has been these past four days.  I feel bad for my family especially because I know they are taking the grunt end of everything.  My parents have been trying so hard to get me to talk to them and share what is wrong but I cannot put the words together and spit them out.  I got out of work early today and took a two hour nap.  I would have laid there for the rest of the day if I could have.  Last night I slept at Jon's house and cried myself to sleep without him.  This is so unlike me and I loathe it so completely.  It is a sure good thing Jonathon is worth this otherwise I would not be able to go through these emotional messes for another year.  

I am glad God still talks to me when I can't talk to Him.  He is so good and I am so undeserving of how passionately He pursues me and how tightly He holds onto me when I do not have enough strength to even gently hold His hand.    

And I believe that you're all I need!

You hold my every moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And heal all my disease

I trust in you

I believe you're my healer

I believe you are all I need

I believe you're my portion

I believe you're more than enough for me

Jesus you're all I need!!!!

-Hillsong. Healer.

Jonathon's house.

Jonathon is home in California now.  I am at his house without him.  After spending some time every day at this house for the last three weeks, I could not bear to spend time away today.  We're watching Mama Mia and it is pretty annoying.  Oh well, I love their company.  

Precisely seven hours

Until Jonathon leaves for the airport.  I decided not to go because unlike the last few times we have seen each other, we do not have a date to look forward to.  The ambiguity of it all makes for a very difficult good bye and I would rather not have to sit in the car with his mom and grandpa and make them have to deal with me crying the whole hour back home, because let's face it, I would be.  Luckily I have a very dear friend Jaime who I know will be patient with me as we enjoy an entire day together tomorrow!  How beautiful.  I will never tire of Barnes and Noble, random little coffee shops in downtown Royal Oak and a lovely smiling girl who speaks truth to my heart and fills me up with convicting and loving conversations.  I am so blessed.

Speaking of blessed.  Jon Ketchum has been blessed with the most amazing musical talent I have ever witnessed.  Honestly.  He has to prepare for his show on Saturday with Mandi and I could be super pissed that a lot of our last evening together he has to spend practicing, but I am totally not.  I get to sit on the bed and watch him play.  It is so amazing to me how his passion shows through even off stage.  His dedication is insane and I could get sick of hearing the same song over and over again but this song him and Mandi wrote together is fricken insane.  Almost Stars. I am very sad I will not be able to watch them perform on Saturday.  

Anyways, it is getting late and I cannot write when I am tired.  But I am just sad Jonathon is leaving, writing is nice and I'm too lazy to go get my feather pen journal from downstairs.    

an hour and a half

after my last blog... Jonathon walked in with a triple venti nonfat white mocha from Starbucks.

No more coffee?

It is true.  I am officially addicted to tea.  I have realized the drastic difference in how I feel after a few cups.  With coffee, a few cups into it and I feel bloated and kind of grindy.  Tea.  Tea is beautiful.  I just pee a lot is all.  I love the transition.  I hope that early days at work do not change this for me!!

Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year has come and gone.  To be honest, I am glad it is gone.  Not that I hate the holidays in any way, 2008 just held challenges that made it a very trying season.  Jonathon heads back to California tomorrow morning and although it will be very sad without him I am very happy for him.  We have both been completely drained this past month and I think are both feeling very empty right now.  

Before Jonathon came home for Thanksgiving I had a solid two weeks of the most crazy God high ever.  It was amazing.  I mean, God and I hung out all the time.  That is all that I ever wanted to do.  I was up till at least two every night just praying and diving into his Word.  I reached a point where I seriously wondered if I had anymore room to be filled up.  I knew it was bound to end.  God gives us our mountain top experiences and then asks us to walk back down and make use of what He has done with us and shown us.  Two weeks of being filled to the brim, to be emptied one month later.  I know it was worth it.  I praise His name for how perfectly he entwines our lives and the circumstances around us.  I just pray that He would fill me back up.  I do not know how much more I can take.  

As my vacation comes to a close I do not dread going back to work.  I look forward to being around the beautiful children God has blessed in my care.  In their faces I see innocence and love that I yearn to be in the presence of.  

God is good

all the time

all the time

God is good. 

Oh and I write with a feather pen now too :)  I have two journals and a blog to keep up on and I just love it.  But the feather pen's journal does prove to be the most popular right now.  Honestly, who would pick a computer over a feather pen?