Come and Gone.

I can't believe Christmas is already come and gone. I can't believe I am getting married in less than a month. It feels so strange but so exciting. I put together our schedule for the following week together and realized even with me having an entire week off I have no idea how we are going to get everything done. I feel like we started the trip off resting, recuperating. Jon is something else when he is jet lagged and I am still swollen and in very much pain. We have like 24 car options now and after praying about it we still don't have a conclusion. It is super fascinating. And instead of figuring it out we're watching Law and Order:SVU with Roberto :) and I like that quite a lot.

Helpless as a baby.

My mom feeds me with baby spoons because I can't open my jaw big enough for a regular one. My dad walks me down the stairs because Im too dizzy when I get up. It's a good time.

Wisdom Teeth.

Well after getting 4 impacted wisdom teeth out I sit here on vicodin. I had the wrong impression about it. I thought it was going to take the pain away. I thought it was going to make me loopy, tired and comfortable. All of which are untrue. I just finished watching Little Women. A fantastic movie. A classic. I love it. It makes me love my sisters all the more.

I will vent a little bit about my experience today at the dentist. As they started me on laughing gas my arms started going numb. The more numb they went the more I had to pee. I pondered to myself if I should say something or my body would just know to not pee my pants. I didn't want to risk it. I cautiously walked to the bath and tried to control the shaking of my body. As I made it back to the chair and started breathing in the gas again they dentist and hygienist came and sat next to me. As they made me open my mouth I flipped out inside. I wanted to yell and tell them I am far too conscious for them to start anything. After the started working a little they asked me how the gas was making me feel. I asked if I was going to be this conscious during the entire thing... and they said yes. I was not okay with that. I gagged, my tears watered, I squeezed some ladies hand. The drilling and banging around inside my mouth was unbearable. I felt like such a huge nasty wimp. But feeling him digging around inside of me was just the stupidest idea ever. They kept telling me to breathe more through my nose. Let me say that while your mouth is wide open, with what feels like 18 hands pulling my lips ways theyre not supposed to go and trying to hold your head still despite the pulling and prying is not at all simple. He kept saying "more aesthetic" and every time he said it I liked him more and more. They kept telling me to let my mind drift off to my wedding plans. Not helpful. Finally after what seemed like both teeth were removed from the right side he said, "ready for the last three?" I thought it was a joke. But it wasn't. I vowed to take the remainder of the time and use it to worship Jesus. I said Emily, pretend your being tortured for your faith. Haha. Looking back I guess that gas really did help a little. So as they began away on my second tooth I started singing in my mind, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come." I thought about Jaime and how we said that over and over again for an hour one time. So I prayed for Jaime. And I prayed for Jonathon a super lot. And thinking about Jonathon I thought about "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham, how we're going to use that song for worship in our wedding. So for the next three teeth I just sang "You're Beautiful" and "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty" over and over and over again. And as I sang in my mind I realized how many different levels of thoughts I have. Which is weird. Like I would be singing that, and than I would have a thought over that, like at the same time. It must have been the gas. But as I sang I thought, I wonder how God views worship when you are on laughing gas. And than I trumped that thought by realizing that God searches the heart and draws his worship from there and the gas isn't effecting my heart. And then I reached up and felt my heart beat and knew it was effecting my heart. But I couldn't tell if it was making it faster or slower. And it turned into a crazy theological debate with myself while still not stopping singing simultaneously in my mind. I didn't know that was possible. But it was. And it was crazy. And I realized what was happing and started writing a blog in my head. And it was all very screwy. And I decided I would lose my mind if I was addicted to drugs that did this to me every single day. After two teeth, they gave my jaw a break. So thoughtful. I had to pee again. It was ridiculous. I planned to hold it until I realized that last time I peed it was 915 and now it was 1105 and I was only halfway done. So I very apologetically asked to pee. She made me go in their bathroom in the back because they gave me two pills under my tongue since I was fighting off the aesthetic or something. When the whole thing was finally said and done I wrote notes on a yellow post it. I told her it was a lot worse than I expected. She said it was for her too, asked if my dentist told me but it was the worst theyd ever seen. Fascinating. I asked if it was because of my horrible gagging reflexes or the actual teeth. She said my teeth. And they gave me the amount of gas theyd give a 200 lb man. So cool. I wish I was knocked out. But $392 later I sit here in pain and annoyance with pees on my cheeks. About to watch Elf with my parents and Angela. Would you believe I even miss my babies in all this? I miss my babies so much.

Living with a boy.

I am so excited to live with a boy.

But I will miss talking to Jaime at night and getting the giggles that I try to contain in my chest so I don't keep her awake but somehow she hears them when they don't come out even.

She is great.

It's fun having a girl soul mate.

It's even more fun living with a girl soul mate.

Washington DC phone call.

I woke up to a call at 520 from some troop photo booth in Kuwait. The 2 minutes we got to talk was such a tease but totally worth it. I have missed his voice so much and its only been two days. I couldnt go back to sleep now because on top of missing him I had a dream that I text Nicole to see if I could come over and she said no she had too much cancer. Last I checked she didn't have cancer so I called her. Angela answered her phone and said Nicole was having surgery to get cancer removed and no one knew if she was going to make it. So I yelled at Angela asking her why I didn't know she had cancer and she said no one did, Nicole found out and kept it a secret so we wouldn't be sad. And now she was going to die. What a jerk. Then I sat there trying to find an encouraging Bible verse to send to Nicole and they were all about dying. Annoying. So sufficient to say; Im awake. An hour earlier than I wanted. Ive worked out, showered and am going to go sit at Starbucks and read my Bible or something forever until work.

Irma.

I am in Barnes and Noble waiting for my fantastic brother in law to figure my car out because I can't do it on my own. Well, he called me and told me what issues I had going on... And I just sat here with people all around me and started laughing because I have no idea what he's talking about. And the saddest news of all is that all the guys at the shop laughed at the prospect of her driving to California. I need something with my exhaust because that rock that hit me was huge. And there is something wrong with my car that starts with a "c" that costs about $600 to repair and I can't afford that so now I am hoping she just makes it till we find a new car. Oh joys. I love that there is not snow right now and all because well. I don't like super cold. But since Christmas is here in one week I can't really fathom it because there's no snow here. And I am getting married. Eek. And I love 1 Chronicles 29:14 a lot. And I never wash my hair even though it's short. Jon told me that will change once we're married. But unless he learns to blow dry my hair he's totally wrong. And someone just told me I'd be a good mom and my heart leaped. Literally leaped. Don't tell Jonathon. He's still scared of babies :)

To Do Lists.

To do lists are my best friend right now.

I love post it notes.

And I drink too much coffee.

I am sad Christmas Eve services ruined Luke 2 for me.

I read it today.

It's amazing.

Just absolutely amazing.

It's so sad it's only read once a year.

California Living.

I have determined that I want people to come visit us all of the time. And if people come visit us all of the time then I will learn how to drive out there because I will pick them up from the airport and drive them to all of the fantastic beaches and such.

I want to be a hospitable wife.

I am already writing grocery lists in my head and planning out meals.

I have major issues.

Not waking up to a text or email from Jonathon tomorrow morning is going to be so sad.

I want nothing to do with buying a car and just driving Irma forever.

Jon would kill me. But I am pretty sure I want to drive her to California.

I know she would make it.

We have a whole week. We'd give her breaks. And when she doesn't make it.

Well. We walk. Or rent a truck. Or just smile. I like smiling.

But she'd make it I just know she has it in her.

I mean come on, she only has 59000 miles on her.

I should be sleeping right now.

But I just am realizing how much I have missed blogging.

And how I want to be a coupon shopper.

And how I get to be a wife soon.

And how I need to finalize my resume to get a job so we can pay our bills :)

I am so excited to live life with Jonathon.

Life is hard.

There are a lot of annoyances, pains and confusions.

But Jonathon and I are good together.

Somehow whenever I am crying, by the time I am done talking to him I am laughing my butt off. But in the middle of the crying, before the laughing part. He prays. Really great.

He just prays over me. And that helps. I like that. God is good. God likes when Jonathon prays. I just know He listens to him. Because after he prays and we talk. We laugh. God likes laughter. So he blesses us with it. And I like God for that. And people change. A lot. All of the time. And some people can't handle that so they stop liking each other. Jonathon and I tried that before. It didn't work. We are a lot different than the 17 year olds we were when we first started giving each other butterflies. Now we're 20 years old, giving each other butterflies, and totally different people. But the cool thing is. When we were 17. We were awesome. We had so much fun and we were already in love. And we're 20 now, and we're still awesome. We had times where we looked back and missed what we had. And that was good for us. Because it made us evaluate what we have now. And it's even better. But in different ways. I know we're young. But we just go. God blessed us with that. I remember sitting in Coffee Beanery two and a half years ago. On the cream couch by the front window. We talked about California. Jon's dreams. My dreams. How Jon didn't want to be married till he was 28. How I wanted to be married at 19. How long distance relationships are hard. How we were in love. And how we could marry each other. I remember sitting in my driveway in Jon's old explorer. We talked about money. How he wanted to be rich. How I wanted to be poor. And how in life those are things married people can't disagree on. And I cried a lot. Because I wanted to marry him but he wanted to be rich and I didnt so I thought we were screwed. And all of a sudden his radio turned on. And it didnt start playing, but the lights that said the station and song came on. And we read the words that said "Let Love In." The first song I ever played in his car. Our song. And I cried. And we kissed. And we said God wanted us to be together so we were just going to pray a lot and see what he wanted to do with our hearts. And he continued to mold them. I like living life with Jonathon. I even like disagreeing with him. Because when we disagree, we both pray really extra hard. And God brings us to a conclusion. And I like that about God. Being in love is great. He irritates me so much sometimes. And he tells the stupidest jokes. And he calls me bonehead lately. And when I am mad at him he wants to read the Bible with me and I always try to get out of it because I know that I am wrong in being mad and I don't want to listen to God. But he makes me. And I love that about him. I love a lot of things about him. And the cool thing about him is. Is that God created him. So there are so many things about him I don't even know yet. And all of them make me love him so much more. And for the rest of my life I get to discover amazing things about him every day! Thats so great for me. Because some of the new things I discover bother me. But they are all good in a way because God made them. Like his stupid jokes are so annoying sometimes. But sometimes when I am really sad in real life sad, like sad to my bones and hurt by the world. He decides to tell a stupid joke. And I laugh because its stupid. But I laugh. And laughing helps sad to the bone sad. And that's so good. And being called bonehead is sometimes not fun at all. But when someone calls you bonehead it opens the door to call them bonehead back. And calling someone you love a bonehead sounds funny. And saying something that sounds funny makes for a good time. And I am excited to have weird living together quirks. Like the way Jonathon cleans the shower door after every shower. And when he goes in after me he checks to make sure I did. And that's weird to me. Because he's a boy. And he shouldn't care about stuff like that. But he does. And it makes me think he's really cute. I have a lot of work I should be doing right now. But instead I am going to sleep. Ill work on work when I have to wait to get my car fixed. Because ps. a rock hurt Irma today :( So I am going to take good care of her and take her in tomorrow in case she needs to drive to California :) Shhh. Jonathon would kill me. But every time I say it it sounds better and better. Except it took 4 car loads or Irma to move to Royal Oak and I can't take 4 car loads of Irma to California.. I miss Jonathon.

USO Tour.

Well Jonathon is officially gone in the middle east playing for the troops.

Today marks the beginning of the longest time we have ever gone without speaking. In over three years. This is strange. And I already don't like it. I get to pick out our car while he's gone. And I love Irma :-) That would be a really good joke.

Babysitting.

I love everything about babysitting.

Irma.

I love my car.

I have discovered a new heat setting I didnt think worked.

It works wonders.

When I got home tonight I did not want to get out. Ever.

Whipped out the area heater thing. It's set at 90 so it better get cranking. We'll see its capabilities.

Exciting.

So it is super exciting making important decisions with Jonathon.

And being engaged costs a lot of money.

And I do not want to get my wisdom teeth out three days before Christmas and two days before Jonathon gets home.

And I am so very sick of the cold.

The Plans...

So our future will be fantastic because our God is so ridiculously in love with us. He has shown us his providence time and time again and confirmed his desire for our marriage numerous times through many people. We are so excited for what is in store. Plans change so frequently. So many different options and possibilities. But what I can say officially is that we will be getting married on January 23, 2010. Yes that is 6 weeks away. We will be packing up a truck and driving out to LA where we will move into our new apartment that has yet to be determined February 1. It is going to be so much fun and I get to live with a boy! The best boy ever at that. I get to be married! I don't know how people do long engagements. I am dying here with only an 8 week engagement. I would get married tomorrow if I could :) I mean... I did find a perfect dress today. That's always amazing.

Engagement.

Well, it has been forever since I have blogged. And with my recent excitement I figured there is not better time to start again. With the craziness of these past couple weeks I have officially lost my camera adapter. So I reluctantly will post the exciting story of my engagement without pictures.

Last Monday I went out to dinner with a few girlfriends and Jaime and I were going to go look at Christmas lights in Detroit. Jonathon was planning on coming home Tuesday night and I could barely contain my excitement to see him. As we ate dinner I tried my best to not rant and rave about him the entire time and I think I did pretty good. As the waiter came back with our bills to sign he handed me mine along with a letter. My heart began to race and I was physically shaking. As I unfolded the letter and read the words, “Hey Beautiful” I was floored. I read the letter and was informed that because Jonathon and I hadn’t been able to talk much the past few days he wanted to send me on a scavenger hunt. I was so anxious to finish it and it was just beginning. Jaime and I had a great time going from place to place and little did I know the hassle that went into it. I first went to Panera Bread where there were two iced green teas already purchased for Jaime and I. We were told to sit and enjoy them and get a free refill before we could go on. I have never tried to drink so fast. I cheated and poured half of mine into hers so we could leave quicker. We then were off to Barnes and Noble where I had to find a letter inside of “Crazy Love” and the new Bon Jovi book. In the first letter he made a statement about how he wished he could be there at the end but tomorrow will be awesome. Deep down I really wanted him to show up at some point but I knew his entire day and how he had this ridiculously long rehearsal and then had to go straight to sound check before his show. He had far too many details the past few days for it not to be true. But still I hoped. He then sent me to Bostons and Starbucks. The letter at Starbucks ended so nonchalantly that I was sure that it was it. I was told to sit and enjoy my time with Jaime and that my last surprise would come when I least expected it. So we left and headed home to drop off our food before we went to Detroit. My mind reeled on the way home. When I least expected it… Well, I expected it to be tonight, so I guess tomorrow is when I least expect it, which is when he’s coming in, so I guess that makes the most sense. Then he calls me. I answer with hesitation and question in my voice and he just goes off. Rehearsal was awful, the drummer is so unprofessional and they kind of got into it, he left the cable at home for his such and such pedal that he uses most frequently so he had to rig something together. Now he’s on his way to the venue and is trying to get a hold of his roommates so they can bring it since their both coming to the show but their not answering and oh Mike’s calling now and he’s pulling into the venue so he’ll call me after the show and he loves me so much. That clenched it. Jonathon was still in California and my scavenger hunt really was over. As we headed to downtown Detroit I was practically falling asleep and thinking that I cannot believe we’re just now leaving past ten and I have to work at 615 the next morning. So we ended up down by the big Christmas tree in Detroit and it was strange. No one was really there, we were just wandering around aimlessly and I thought the tree looked nice with the water all around it but was ready to leave already. A few moments later Jonathon comes walking around the tree. I freaked. We hugged; I wouldn’t let go of him. He asked me if I liked my last surprise and of course I said yes. It was so wonderful to see him a day early and he looked so handsome and all. He then proceeded to tell me he had one last surprise and said real nice things and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He pulled out the ring and opened up the box upside down. And I smiled a lot. I said yes. We hugged. We kissed. I was giddy. I was surprised. It was perfect. With as much as we talked about getting married I was sure I had his little plan all figured out. I was so wrong and I love that. I never thought he’d be able to surprise me. So now I am engaged to the most amazing man of God I have ever met. I get to be his wife. And being engaged is so much fun. I love wearing the ring. It is oh so perfect for me: simple, delicate, unique, mine. So that’s my story, without pictures, but perfect nonetheless. Being in love just keeps getting better and better.