Randoms.

A "Christian Church" seeking the approval of man rather of God and ignoring His word in the process.  Disappointing but not surprising.  

I cannot give details behind this story but have been given permission to blog about this because it is the funniest thing ever.  A dear friend of mine is amazing at life and every single guy with any common sense or love for Jesus should want her as his.  Well two very very close friends do.  And in one day both of them asked her out on a date.  This is just hilarious to me because it just shows how much some really close guy friends actually discuss this matter.... of which girl they are pursuing.  I am excited for the showdown of when they find out they have both been pursuing the same amazing girl lately... and she wants nothing to do with either of them.  Haha.  Is that mean? 

I am waking up at 600 so I can go get coffee with my little sister before school.  I should sleep maybe soon. 

two and a half years.

I miss him.

Chloe.

My plane ride buddy. 

This was our lame attempt to take a picture of us in the clouds which is where we actually were.  

Her name was Chloe.  We listened to Jesus music together (which I think her dad would not have let happen if I wasn't keeping his nine year old daughter occupied) and took silly pictures.  I hope she had as good of a time at Disney Land as I had with my boyfriend. 

Jesus:

I love Him.  

I am pathetic, and yet he loves me so unconditionally.

When Jesus said we must live how he lived, I think a lot of people take that to mean the basics, don't have sex before marriage, don't swear, go to church, and on and on.

But we forget that we are commanded to love people like Jesus loved people.  If we look through scripture about how He loved people, and look at our own lives at how He never stops loving us through all the crap we shove before Him and the times we flat out slap him across the face with what we say and do to other people.  That is a lot of love to have to show other people nonstop, without using lack of sleep or being sick as an excuse to stop.  The only way this is possible is if we look through the eyes of God at everyone he places in our path.  I want to see people, like my God sees the people he created and loved enough to send his son down to die for.  

I like opening the Creamery up alone.  It's a nice three hour gap of time where I leave the music off and just work and hang out with God.  He makes such wonderful company.  

Cant Sleep

I slept with my nephew today from like 815-945.  But when he woke up to poop, I had to wake up to change him, and now I cant sleep.  Just wonderful.

  

A small clip of the drive to Palm Springs.  This is a part of what we like to call, Vocal Warm Ups.  Watching this was pure joy... I'd post more parts but it takes a long time to load and I don't have the patience for it.  

Back to Michigan I venture.

I didn't want to cry when I left California and my love today.  I tried so hard.  I barely talked the entire way to the airport, half because my stomach hurt so bad I wanted to curl over and die, and the other half because I knew if I said too much or thought too hard I would be an emotional mess.  I was doing good.  But as soon as he put his arms around me to hug me I thought my body would collapse.  I didn't want to be anywhere but his arms.  He made me take off my sunglasses but the moment I looked into his eyes I had to look away.  I can't handle being apart from him.  I can't handle saying good bye.  I can't handle knowing that I have to go months without another hug like that.  Another kiss on my hand.  Another look into his eyes like that.  And no, ichat does not count.  It helped a little that my plane boarded at 350 and we didn't leave his house until 235 (his house is a little over an hour from the airport. Good call)  I didn't want to cry in front of him.  I know it hurts him.  I know that he hates watching me go with tears in my eyes, that he will do whatever it takes to make them go away.  So since I only had a few minutes until my plane boarded I was able to walk away just before the tears came.  The security guard made a joke about how confused he was that my license said under 21 because I clearly did not look under 21.  I should have smiled, given him a little chuckle to let him know his lame attempt to get through the bore of his day was well received and he should keep trying to make other people smile.  But instead I stared him down like he was my judge sentencing me to life in prison.  I wanted nothing to do with anyone else.  I usually like to smile at people who look sad, because smiles are contagious and all.  But I did not return one smile I received till well into my first flight.  Good-byes are miserable.  And sometimes, I am downright miserable without Jonathon.  

MINOR.

Im not one for the bar scene, being in them that is.  But last night Jonathon played a show in Palm Springs, which is about a two hour drive, and of course I went.  Initially I wasn't ided, which is obviously good because Im only 19, but then when she came around asking if we were 21, not even asking to see ids, I couldnt bring myself to say I was.  So she permanent markered MINOR across my hand.  It was cute. Later in the night when cops came she was great and hid me in the kitchen, haha.  Thats a whole other story.  The point of this story is to say how much I adore watching Jonathon play, how he gets better and better every time, and how I like going up to people and selling his EP.  Even after the two hour drive of gas he still went away with more money than he had when he came.  This is lovely.  I want to convince him to come out at the end of the summer, fall, or next spring for three weeks and do this every night in Royal Oak.  Lets be honest, he could really get a following and sell his EP like mad.  Jaime and I could go around selling it, and after they give us the money we'll ask for a prayer request. HAha. That was a joke.  I am wide awake even though yesterday I was up for twenty-four hours, not counting the 30 minutes I slept on the two plane rides.  He is exhausted because well, he played, and had to drive both ways last night.  I want to be nice and let him sleep, but I want to be selfish and wake him up so we can spend every possible moment together.  I will choose to be nice... for a little.  When I'm away from my family, I realize how much I love them and how I wish we could all just move out here.  Looking outside it is beautiful and I can see mountains.  Seriously.  Let's go family.  Get on this.

Surprise #2!

Just woke Jonathon up in California.

"Holy crap

Holy crap

what?

did you guys know about this?"

Chris: "Nope, just found her on the street."

"What? What? Howd you get here?

holy crap you got me good."

:) So happy about life right now.

Old Blogs.

I just went back and read some of my previous blogs from back in December.  It made me smile because well, I write like an idiot.  But mostly it made me sad because I spent so much time with Jonathon and was able to relive some of the funniest and cutest moments.  I have been lame at telling about my life because of lack of time.  But, my "stuff" to do is going to be put on hold tonight.  So prepare for a rant about how amazing my boyfriend is.

Wednesday was miserable.  I worked all day, and all I wanted was Jonathon.  If we're being honest I felt so pathetic because of how badly I missed him.  My heart hurt, my body ached, my mind wanted nothing more than to be filled with his words and my eyes just wanted to cry.  I worked at the daycare and than at cold stone.  After cold stone I was going to my sister and brother's house to hang and cuddle my nephew who makes everything better always.  I called him and did my rant and our conversation went something as follows.

"Okay Jonathon, for the past three nights I have had dreams that your coming home this weekend, and I know that that is not possible so I am starting to get a little pissed because now, when it doesn't happen, I am going to be sad."  

"I'm sorry Emily,  I'll be back in June hopefully."

"Yes but Jonathon I miss you now, bad.  Are you sure your not going to be at Nicole and Erics?"

"I'm sure, I am recording with Mike and Chris right now, I'm sorry... Anyways, what are you doing?"

"going to see the most handsome boy ever!!!"

"Me?"

"no, Zechariah, and don't joke around about that I miss you. blah blah blah I ranted on."

Get to Nicole and Erics house... Eric answers the door.

"Sorry"

"umm. Why are you sorry?"

"Well I just really wanted you to be Jon, and your not so I was disappointed, but I am sorry because I really am so glad your you I love you."

(Take baby from Nicole and you guessed it, I rant once more)

"Seriously for the past three nights I have had dreams about Jon coming home to visit this weekend and its pissing me off because I know he's not coming and I just miss him so much and..." on I go until....

The Bedroom door opens and out walks Jonathon.

True Story.

It took me like four minutes to hug him because I was scared it was another dream. 

Today Jonathon asked me to come visit him... I told him I was leaving tomorrow and we said it was a good idea.  I wish it was a real story.  Long distance relationships do not get easier.  I hate every day that we are apart.  ugh.  Now I need to go be productive.  

Learning Jesus songs on my new guitar have taken priority over blogging....

Jaime and I have been going at it since about 8:30.  It's midnight now. 

Love Jesus. Love "Come thou fount" and "Everything" 

One day I will be able to play and sing at the same time...

In like a year.

JESUS EVERYTHING!

Jesus.

Is my lover and my best friend.  

What a joy it is that he has rescued me from the domain of darkness and transferred me into His kingdom!  What up Colossians. 

I have gotten two members of my family to join this blogging epidemic... Rock it Nicole and Mike

Five more to go.

I love family.  

love.

I love Jonathon.  I wanted to post a picture of our busy time together and how happy we are in love... but I don't have any because we are lame and didn't take any.  I'm sad he's leaving tomorrow.  My heart hurts.      

Boyfriend.

Is here. 

Surprised me last night.

Date tonight! 

Yay for life. 

Jesus is so great and I love that he blessed us with the chance to read his word every stinking day.  I have read Colossians a few times lately and am in love with it.

Read it. 

Francis Chan was telling me that...

I love Jaime for referring to listening to his podcast as their personal conversation.

We are going to go make a fort in my sunroom and sing to God with her guitar around our fake campfire.  End of story.

I want Jonathon to come home this weekend. I miss him so much.  

Hugs.

Hugs from lifelong friends are truly amazing.  

Only wish I could have them more frequently.   

Tomorrow will be better.

It's not for the catering, but it was the only picture I could find.  Out of the whole Qdoba/MORO crew I was the only one whose name does not begin with a "J".  Very depressing.  Jericho. Jordan (who is a girl and gave us her number because she is amazing and likes meeting new people, loooove her!) Josh (whom we have formerly known) and Jaime of course.  Poor old Emily comes along, sporting an "E".  Lame school.

Tonight was ridiculously amazing, my ankle hurts from running to our trumpet man Dave and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard and working up an appetite.  God is tooo good and tooo funny for me to handle sometimes.  Tomorrow I will reveal details.  As for now, I have four hours until I have to be in the car and driving to Lansing!! Woohoooo.  Love family.  Love bearing the marks of Jesus in the tiredness of my eyes, haha...Right.  Okay sleep. 

Love you!!!   

Confession:

I am so ridiculously in love with Jonathon Ketchum.

He makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. 

And what's a serving size of sunflower seeds?  There was a bag next to me so I grabbed it to eat a couple.  I noticed that there are 4 grams of fiber in one serving.  That's crazy.  It probably has to be the entire bag... because sunflower seeds are small, but it's a big bag.  Couldn't someone have opened the other corner so I would not be in this dilemma of confusion? 

This song moved me tonight.

"Oh God, hold me now 

Oh God, touch me now 

There's no other man who could save the dead 

There's no other God to place our head"

Intimacy with the God of the universe is an unexplainable and beautiful thing.  I cannot imagine what it will feel like in heaven when satan has no place to try to build walls up and attack us with sin.  When Jesus prayed that we would know God like a husband and wife know each other in bed. 

Wow.  

God loves me... THAT much. 

That he wants that intimacy with me... as sinful and wretched that I am.  The numerous times I cheat on Him with desiring things of this world... and He blots out those sins, makes them white as snow... and brings me back.  

Wholly His.

Let's be honest.

Long distance relationships do not get any easier. 

And all of the technological ways to keep in touch sometimes just make it worse. 

(E-mail from my Grandparents because they are amazing)

To the Family-
Usually at the beginning of the month we as siblings have written an
E- Mail, taking the place of what at one time was the Round Robin. But
with brother Kurt's illness I didn't get to that ritual. Yesterday many
members of the family and friends gathered to celebrate his victory in
Christ and be strengthened even as we mourn our loss. We will sorely
miss him, his phone calls and E-mails which were unique and special. In
his last E-mail he taught me a new word, (phrenology) a study of the time
schedule of plants and insects etc. As I think of Kurt I think of him as
a gentle spirit with solid convictions who rested in the grace of God in
Christ Jesus and enjoyed fully the gifts and granduer of God's creation.
We will sorely miss him but are grateful that he is at home with his Lord
and Savior. We pray for you, Betty, and your whole family that you may
know comfort and peace as you mourn your loss.
Recently Dorothy and I attended the funeral of one of our former
members. The pastor had as the title of his sermon, "Passed from death
to life." He emphasized that the one who had departed was now in the
land of the living while we are still in the land of the dying. The words
of Paul reflect that thought when he said , "I have a desire to depart,
and be with Christ, which is far better," When our youngest brother,
Lester, died our father told us of his departing with the words, "Lester
ist im Himmel" (Lester is in heaven). That thought was re-inforced with
what became for us "Lester's hymn" - ( Christ the life of all the living,
Christ the death, of death, our foe, Who Thyself for me once giving to
the darkest depth of woe, Madest reconciliation and didst save me from
damnation. Thousand, thousands thanks shall be, Dearest Jesus, unto
Thee). Some of you know it in a bit different translation but that is
the way we had learned it in the old, old, old hymnal. I couldn't help
but think of Grandpa Fred Bickel when Karen (Neuendorf) phoned me last
Saturday evening to tell of her dad's departure and shared these words,
"Uncle Eldor, Dad, is home with Jesus." She was following in the faith of
the Apostle Paul and her Grandpa Bickel. It was a comforting and faith
strengthening word for me. (In that vein I do want to thank brother
Kurt's whole family for their witness and faith strenthening E-mails and
in person sharing during the diffcult ordeal of Kurt's illness.) Kurt has
now joined all the saints of the Fred and Lydia Bickel family that have
preceded him. We wait for the reuniting.

A hymn verse that is reminder and comfort for me and hopefully also
for you during these days and always.
Oh. How blest are you whose toils are ended,
Who through death have unto life
ascended!
You have arisen from the cares
that keep us still in prison.

Come, O Christ, and loose the
chains that bind us;
Lead us forth and cast this world
behind us.
With Thee, the Anointed,
Finds the soul its joy and rest
appointed.

Of First Importance - Christ died for our sins!
Christ rose again for our
justification!

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia
Because He lives, we shall live also!
(The words printed on the memorial stone
at the entranceto the Amelith cemetery-
purchased by the children and spouses of
Fred and Lydia Bickel)

With love, Eldor and Dorothy

(Pass this E-Mail to any of your family members who you feel
might desire to receive it.)

-I am aware these names don't mean anything to any of you. But my Grandfather wrote this the day after his younger brother's funeral and sent it out to the family. This is what God meant when he said in
Joel 1:3- "Tell it to your children,
and let your children tell it to their children,
and their children to the next generation."

and

Psalm 78:1-7- " O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.

I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.

We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.

He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,

so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.

Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands."

Tired.

I am far too tired to write right now, but the problem is I'm far too tired to sleep.  

Hmm...  We'll see where this gets me. 

I hate Starbucks.

I hate the cold business like feeling.  I hate the cost.  But I hate most that I have purchased a venti americano in a tall cup with white mocha syrup from there for $3.02 about four times this week.  I can't stop though.  There is this girl there, and I love her.  There is something in her eyes that breaks my heart.  The way her bangs fall across her face is a beautiful thing, but there is a reason I have never seen them pulled back.  There is something about her smile that is so sincere and so innocent I just smile in my heart when I see it.  I will continue to buy a venti americano in a tall cup with white mocha syrup for $3.02 until I learn her story or she quits.  I have come to decide that I don't need the coffee.  I don't enjoy it enough to spend $15 a week on it.  But she is worth the money, and I do not yet know why.   

Oh ps. I am going to rock out with Jaime and Hillsong in Toronto in June.  I am beyond excited.  I cannot even imagine what the presence of the Spirit is going to feel like in a place like that!! 

I love my Jesus.  He makes it okay to smile when there is pain in the heart.    

Angela Hope.

The heart of this girl is insane to me.  I love her.  I am so blessed to be able to call her my sister.  She stands out of the typical high school girl status quo.  She loves Jesus with everything she has.  She isn't content just believing what she is taught.  She searches the scriptures and comes before God.  Her smile is beautiful because in it she has confidence that God is her very best friend.  In her eyes are hope and assurance that there is more than the pain of this world.  She should be a role model for most people who outdo her in age.  

Epidemic.

This blogging thing is an epidemic.

I like it.  For real, a lot. 

I also sarcastically like not being able to talk to my boyfriend because he is such a hard worker and not being able to fall asleep when my alarm will go off in about 6 hours.  I also like that after washing my hands about 184 times today they are nice and red and dry.  

I for real like that my God doesn't hate me when I have a melodramatic night.  I also like that my family has the strongest bond and love I have ever seen or experienced.  I really like that I am going to heaven even though I get sad about stupid things of this world that hold no value to my eternity.  

My hands are cold.  I am going to sleep with gloves on.  

My little sister rocks more than yours does.  Her name is Angela, and everyone should have the opportunity to have a sister like her.  That's just that. 

  

Smelly.

I smell like cold stone and my feet smell like stink.  I need to go shower.  But I am too tired, but I feel too gross to lay in my bed.  This is not difficult, I just don't want to move after 13 hours of work.  Call me lazy, and I would agree.... Shower time, and maybe some dinner at 11 at night.  Wonderful.   

Leaving.

(Back when things were supposedly normal)

I am trying to think of who is left to leave our family and break our hearts. 

Next in line would be Jonathon.

Please don't break up with me boyfriend.  I love you.

Right now I am filled with half anger and half pain.

I think the anger is righteous anger, if that makes sense to you.

The pain is just straight up pain.

I wonder how many times I have to say "I forgive" before I actually feel it.  

iTunes

Every single person should go to iTunes and download Francis Chan's message from 3.22.09 called "Living with Joy."

Uncle Kurt.

My great Uncle Kurt died tonight.  He was such a precious precious man and I tried to cry about it but I just cannot.  While I was reading the email I was listening to Francis Chan speak a message on Philippians 4 and reminding us that we are commanded to rejoice that our names our in the book of life.  It was too perfect to even cry about.  My Uncle Kurt is in heaven right now.  He is reading his name in the book of life and saying "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."  What greater joy could he be experiencing right now?  So why should I shed tears that he has departed.  For as Paul says in the beginning of Philippians, "to die is gain."  Uncle Kurt has surely gained today.  I am excited to join in his never ending praise to our Holy, Merciful and Loving God and Savior.  As most every email update on his health closed out, I will close.

God is Good

All the time

All the time

God IS Good.  

Home.

Home from Buffalo, NY.  I already miss Samee.  I have so much to express and not enough words to do it.  Good night. 

New York.

I am leaving for New York as soon as I can become cognitive and get ready and pull some stuff together.  I love that I am going for less than 48 hours.  I just found out the drive was 5.5 hours, not 4.5 hours.  Depression.  I should have woken up an hour ago. 

Spring.

People are nicer in the spring.

They smile bigger and talk longer.

I love people and I am glad God is just as nice in the winter as He is in the Spring. 

Obsessed.

I have decided that people who claim there is no God and no purpose in life are not stupid...

Just lazy.