So much.

I have so much to write about that I can't even do it.  End of story. This is the new game. Pick any verses in the Bible, randomly with the point of a finger, and God is so connected that they will connect in some way.  It's better to play this with a few people with a few different Bibles, but I am playing it by myself right here and right now to prove it to you.  Three verses. I promise I'm not going to change them. 

Ezekiel 9:3 "Now the glory of the God of Israel had gone up from the cherub on which it rested to the threshold of the house.  And he called to the man clothed in linen, who had writing at his waist."

Acts 1:6 "So when they had come together they asked him, "Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?"

Philippians 3:1 "Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord.  To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you."

That's not a joke.  In the order I flipped, pointed and read.  Eyes closed and God is good.  

Jaime just text me and told me that nine people did this and of course: It was proven.  Try to disprove that God is so big and that His word is living and breathing and you will waste the very breath that God has blessed you with.  

Jaime just text me a verse to add to the mix. 

Psalm 118:13 "I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me."

Seriously you ask.  Seriously I tell you.  God's word is too great for our words.  So I am going to stop trying.  

Crazy.

God is too crazy for human words right now so I am not even going to try.

Saturday Afternoons...

I could not think of a better way to spend my Saturday afternoon.

How?

The times I feel as though I am actually pleasing God a little bit,

I am displeasing the people that are closest to me.

How does that fricken work?

It's getting frustrating. 

I'm losing a lot of sleep over this.

I am trying to search out scripture to find out how God wants me to act in every situation, large decision and small word alike.  When I do what the Bible says, I piss people off and I feel a lot of hurt in my heart.

But I feel God smiling.  

Galatians 1:10 "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?  Or am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." 

Intelligent.

I feel like I should write something smart and debatable.  But I have absolutely nothing.

 

I am just super in love with Jesus.

Ohhh! I'll share a great friend and winning against Satan story.

So Kairos. Jaime is all talking and at the end of what she was saying she says something to the effect of "now I'm probably going to go and Satan is going to attack me hardcore now that I said that."

So she goes home and I get a text that is like, I was right, Satan is going at me crazy.

I respond by what? Laughing. I laugh.  Because unlike God, Satan is predictable.  Mid text response of laughing I cannot go into detail but I get a text that was Satans way of attacking me beyond what I was prepared for.  So I apologize for laughing and tell her it is going to be a busy night of battle. 

I proceed to be a girl about life and cry and get angry and cry some more and get even more angry.  After about two minutes of this little I'm so miserable and pitiful fit I get all pissy at Satan.  I speak angrily and I put him in his place.  I then decide, ha, I am not going to sit here and be all pitiful, no I am going to whip out my sword for battle (which Ephesians tells me is the word of God).  So I pull it out and the first words I read are... "Now if anyone has caused pain..." and the last words I read are "so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs."  2 Corinthians 2:5-11

umm. Hey God.  I am all about claiming the victory of Jesus Christ. 

He makes things of the flesh seem silly. 

"People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else.  Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress."

 

Cold Stone Creamery Shelby Twp. This is Emily speaking how may I help you?

It's official.

I am a Cold Stone Creamery employee once again.

Buying an ice cream the other day I had a nice little chat with my old boss, the end of our conversation went as follows:

A: Oh we have to make waffle bowls.

Me: Hey want me to jump back and make some for you? haha

A: Get back here, we need some of your nice waffle bowls again.

Me: haha. okay

A: No seriously, do you want to work?

Me: uh. Sure. When?

A: Saturday... 

haha. So starting Tuesday.  I will be rockin my visor and doing what managers do.

Love it.

I spent some time there this evening and hung out with my dear dear friend.  She trained me on how to make the new coffee latte things that are only 1.99.  We split one.  I about peed myself because they are actually amazing. Who would have guessed it.  

Starting Wednesday: Cold Stone= wonderful blended coffee drinks.  I'll be there.  Making them for you :)

Girls.

I cannot get enough of Kairos.  These girls rock at life.  We were all crazy talk, just sharing our hearts and saying "I don't know" countless amounts of time because when we're talking about God lets be honest, we don't know.  It is just so amazing and refreshing to be with girls who passionately love Jesus and are not willing to put on a face to look like "better Christians."  The vulnerability and closeness we have is insane and it is beautiful to see how God truly handpicked each of us and gave us experiences and wisdom to feed into each others hearts.  

This is the unresolvedish question:

If you ask someone how they are doing.

And they respond with God is so great or something to that effect.

Are they crazy and annoying?

Or are they super great and cute and such.

Is that an excitement about God that makes unbelievers want it too, or makes them want to avoid it?

Oh the conundrum of it all.    

This is the first time all week I am going to bed before 1:30 am.

I miss talking to Jonathon.  It's been too long. 

Roid Rage.

I told my mom that I thought the steroids were making me crazy because I was beyond emotional today and not about to start my time of having an excuse to be emotional. 

She said something to the effect of, "umm Emily, I never remember them affecting you like this. Maybe your just crazy."

I laughed. Because she's my mom. And she's always right. 

When I have my moments of racing heart, falling tears, insane ideas and radical love like last night... Not twelve hours later Satan uses every tactic he can to tell me I will fail, I am too weak, I am all alone, and blah blah.  Well good news is: I have Jesus.  IN HIM all things are possible. IN HIM his strength is made perfect. IN HIM I will never be alone again. Satan can throw as many attacks at me as he wants, but at the end of the day,  I am still going to do whatever the heck God tells me to do.  Every idea he has given me and passion he has put on my heart these past few months, I WILL do.  Whether it's in Michigan, California, New York, Ohio or Canada even.  Satan can attack me, but he cannot take away my heart.  Jesus has taken over.  

PS. It is such a good stinking thing this life is not about me and my wonderfulness and successfulness, because it would surely be a waste.  But praise God this life is for Him and for His glory. And with him in control, He will work, when I feel as though I have wasted. 

PSX2. I am going to visit my best friend next weekend. :) I love her.  The travel time will be nice, the adventures with Jesus while she is working will be nice, and listening to her heart will be so very very nice.  I'm all about this.  Hopefully my dad lets me borrow his car!  I fear Irma will get tired... not break down! Just tired.  But if I must take her, I will.  We will just take a nap together in the middle of the short trip. 

PSX3. I am getting impatient waiting for Jonathon to make up his mind about that tattoo. 

PSX4. Even though this is my blog, I feel selfish for having used the word "I" so many times. 

So.

Whoever you are that is reading this. You absolutely rock.  Your smile is wonderful to see and your words are pleasant to the ears! You have a heart that makes other hearts smile and you have a way about you that makes people love you just so very much.  Jesus loves you more than any of those people ever could though which is why he died so that you would not have to taste death! Instead you can spend eternity with him.  You can rest assured in his undying and unconditional love for you that gives you a purpose for this life and a reason to smile no matter what is hurting your heart right now.  Imagine that the God who created you, loves you enough to die for you. Unbelievable.  God thinks you rock.  Thank you for being you :) 

(warning: I'm about to be selfish)  

I love you too! :)  

Tonight.

Jonathon gets to finally meet Zechariah via ichat I hope.  

Jonathon needs to get home and Zechariah needs to wake up.  

I'm pumped. 

So good story:

I bought ten copies of Crazy Love for.... eighty bucks.  

Rock it.

If anyone reads this and wants one of Jon Ketchum's EP's for 8 bucks which has killer photographs by Lisabeth Conger and dandy artwork by Carissa Hudson and insane musical talent from Jon Ketchum himself... call. text. message. comment. whatever. Let me know. He's sending out a shipment tomorrow. 

Passions.

I cry when I think about the Christian church today. 

I cry even harder when I cannot seclude myself from it. 

I cry even harder when I think about the tears God must shed over how stupid we are.

The wasted energy

The wasted passion

The wasted moments

The wasted influence

The wasted words

The wasted frowns

The wasted time

The wasted life. 

Such a drastic revolution needs to take place that it is sometimes hard when God reminds me... One heart at a time.  

God is smarter than me. God knows all.  God is outside our realm of time and space.

God is love.

God has won.

God is love....

And I will live in that. 

I will not be prideful, thinking that I know what needs to be done and said.

I will trust in God's plan.

I will trust in God's love.

I will love with God's love.

Despite my tears.

Despite my heartache.

Despite my pride.

 

Galatians 6:10 " So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and ESPECIALLY to those who are of the household of faith."

Thats a tough one for me to swallow sometimes...

Oh. There's so much to learn and grasp and speak for about God.  It is hard to hear when he wants me to speak for him and when he wants me to shut up so he can speak.

I need to go to bed. My mind is too busy.

Happy Birthday Jesse! You are so lovely.  I praise God for your life and the amazing opportunity he has given me to be able to work with you and see the light he has placed in your heart.  What a blessing another year of life is!  I pray that God will continue to use your every moment to touch the lives of the people he gives you every day to love.  I love you. You are beautiful.   

Copyright: Denise Murphy. My sister and inspiration.

Personally, I’m frustrated. Frustrated that somehow we have come to the point where we literally think that there are people out there that are beneath deserving of love. We have come to the point where we don’t treat people like they are a LIVING HUMAN BEING.

I don’t want to sound harsh ….But I feel completely helpless lately trying to defend this…

The next time someone stereotypes a homeless person to be a dangerous, crazy, alcoholic who will kill you, I will ask how many people they have tried to get to know that don’t have a home. Then I will tell of Jade and Pam. Yes, they beg for money. Why? It’s called survival. Their homes burned down. Jade and Pam could possibly beat most anyone in trivia and they cry because they are so excited to see you. And they make me laugh.

The next time I hear someone stereotype a homeless man I WILL defend my Savior. “the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matthew 8:20. That’s right, JESUS WAS HOMELESS. Yes, that homeless person that many rejected because he didn’t look as nice as them, they killed, and later to find out SAVED THE WORLD!!
(The average homeless is age 9)


The next time I hear someone say nasty degrading things about someone living in prostitution. I will say that they are not “prostitutes”. They are God’s daughters. Maybe we should ask those girls who loves them and if they have ever felt loved or wanted beyond their bodies. Ask them if they want another way of life. Don’t assume they don’t. Tell them they are precious.


The next time I hear someone tell me that it’s not worth risking my life to help people in Africa because it is a bad place and they are used to killings anyways, I will ask if they have met any orphans in Africa? I have, and I know that the children have night terrors of their parents being murdered and are scared of snakes. THEY ARE NOT USED TO MURDER. And I WILL risk my life because it’s not about me. And I will say. “25For whoever wants to save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25

The next time someone tells me they would never help someone in a third world country because they don’t want a disease. I will say that I have God on my side, who healed blindness and leprosy. And yes, there are humans in those countries. LIVING HUMANS forgotten by many because we feel “uncomfortable.”

It even becomes more challenging. Murder. Forgive and pray for one who commits murder. We so easily forget that the criminal on the cross next to Jesus went to heaven. We so easily forget that Paul, a man who wrote books in the BIBLE, was a murderer before God captured his heart. Talk about forgiveness and grace. If God’s grace is that big, we have NO right to hate or think we are even better. I personally heard a woman’s story. She survived a horrific genocide. Her family was literally CHOPPED up with machetes. God showed her that the only thing she could do to keep living was to forgive. FACE to FACE she forgave the man who mutilated her mother and brother.

“but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

“OTHERS” does not discriminate.

I write this, not because I think I am perfect. I struggle with judging others as well. But I have felt attacked only to realize that it’s those people who are being attacked AND I CANNOT take it anymore. I will not be quiet anymore. I want to cry and scream and I will raise my voice and I will STAND up for those that the world has rejected to see as HUMAN (God's creation) and that the world sees as undeserving of understanding and grace. Who are we to judge when we need grace just the same?

RISK YOUR PRIDE TO LOVE!!

“25For whoever wants to save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25

The first shall be last and the last shall be first!

Doctors rock.

In the midst of craziness I feel I must share on my current health condition since I have been so consumed with it instead of Jesus lately. Silly me.  My doctor rocks. 

I do not have animals living in my skin.  This nasty disease will be gone shortly thanks to medicine called Steroids. yum

I turned down the shot he offered me because at the time I had globs of benadryl on and didn't feel like a shot was what I was feeling up for.  Now: I wish I would have taken it. 

My foot is just sprained thanks to my Chronic Weak Ankles.  Nothing new there.

The steroids I am taking will take away the lingering pain I have had in my chest when I breathe because of my lame old head cold a few weeks ago. 

Because of my awesome fetish to eat crazy healthy and snack on carrots and grapes and such yummy healthy foods and not take second servings or overly large first servings and drink lots and lots of water when I am bored instead of eating and drinking tea instead of coffee I have successfully gained weight. Wonderful.  I love life.  

I love my boyfriend too. He love's Jesus. 

My God takes my breath away.

Seriously.  

I cannot catch my breath right now.  

My heart is racing.  

If I didn't know God was so crazy I would call an ambulance.  

My body cannot handle his presence.  

He is too holy.    

forty nine layers.

Random thoughts at midnight. 

_I have officially scratched off 49+ layers of skin.  This is just insane.  If God ever calls me to live in Mississippi I can honestly say I would cry a bit.  The amount of mosquitos and chiggers there that will eat you alive is ridiculous.  

_My toes on my right foot are still so very swollen.  

_I miss Royal Oak: 

"They like Jesus.  

They don't want our numbers.  

I'm trying to figure out why we're still standing here." 

_Jeremiah 48:10 "Cursed is he who does the work of the LORD with slackness."

_Isaiah 55:12 "For you shall go out in joy and be led in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."

_The Song of Solomon 3:3-4a "The watchmen found me in the city. 'Have you seen him whom my soul loves?' Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves, I held him, and would not let him go"

_Matthew 10:8-10 "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons.  You received without paying; give without pay.  Acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics not sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food."

_Matthew 9:36 "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." 

_John 21:25 "Now there are also many other things that Jesus did.  Were every one of hem to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written."

_I just read a few articles about how stupid Christians are, and I cried a little bit because I see why people think that.  If only we didn't have to get in the way of who Jesus Christ really is.  There would be so many more people in heaven.

_Colossians 2:20 "If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations...?"

_I am so itchy I want to take a benadryl, but then I will be sleeping when Jonathon can talk in a little bit.  Priorities.  Jonathon wins.  He's worth losing another 14 layers of skin for.

_1 John 3:1 "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God, and so we are."

-Jesus is so in love with me that he wants to spend eternity with me.  My sinful nature prevented that so he died as a propitiation for my sins and now I can have an eternal perspective with the knowledge that my eternal life is going to be spent worshipping my God and my Savior.  His love is not based on what I can do for him, for I can do nothing but offer my humble and contrite worship which he is not in any need for.  My God is so unfathomable.  

_I have a stellar rockstar boyfriend who loves me.  So strange.  I can't sing in tune and burp a little bit more than any ladylike girl should.  I can be pretty emotional and don't understand him when he talks about music usually. I don't like a lot of money and don't often think before I speak. 

_I just got a text from a friend who was in a roll over accident today, but she is fine.  I am so thankful.  I have only known her for a short time but love her so much already.  

_I am tired.  

Diseased.

I am so bit up on my arms that I look seriously diseased.  I have been scratching them so stinkin hardcore that many of the bites are bleeding.  Excellent. 

Okay so basically my heart cannot get enough of Jesus.  He is crazy good and faithful to me.  I cannot even express my deepest desires to serve the homeless in California.  God keeps assuring me that he is the one putting these passions on my heart and that he is preparing me for what is to come.  My heart is currently not loving enough and he has to major deal with that issue.  It may hurt and all when God is dealing with us, but it is so reassuring as well.  He puts us through the fire so that we can come out refined.  That is such a beautiful truth that will forever shape my life as a Christian.  God commands us in 2 Corinthians 13:5 to "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith."  The issue with many Christians and something I have found myself in time and time again is the oh so common phrase, "Well, I am only human, I will never be perfect."  And then it stops there.  We just rest in that instead of breaking out of the complacency we find ourselves in.  Amos 6:1 warns us, "Woe to those who are at ease in Zion, and to those who feel secure on the mountain of Samaria."  I never want to feel at ease or secure in my life situation or worse off in my relationship with Christ Jesus.  I always want to be yearning, begging and straining for more of him.  For not only his mercy but also his discipline.  I am so blessed to be his daughter and bride.  His creation, made to worship his awesome name.  One day... I am going to be in his beautiful nature, and hear the rocks cry out to worship his name. It is going to absolutely rock!  Oh... That was weird. I don't know what other word to replace it with though.  

"Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?" 

-Francis Chan

I love my Creator.  My God.  I long to worship Him with every breath he blesses me with.     

Breaking Hearts.

God is currently breaking my heart.  It's a beautiful thing.  It is also a beautiful thing to have a boyfriend who prays for you.  I want to go to lighthouse tonight real bad.  But it hurts bad to bend my ankle which means I will probably do some serious damage to it trying to drive.  I'll also have to explain 64 times why I am walking like a gimp.  I think I should try to go to the doctor tomorrow morning to make sure I didn't do any damage icing won't fix, but I don't feel like it.  Jesus loves me unconditionally ps. What a lucky girl I am.

Crazy Love

Every single person should read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  

Don't ask questions.  

Just read it.  

End of story. 

Home!

I am home from Biloxi with mixed feelings.  I love it there, but home is nice sometimes.

I come home with a sprained ankle, sicker than I left, a phone that is completely shot and a smile on my face. I love Jesus. 

Mississippi

I want everyone to know that when I spell Mississippi, I do that little chant song thing in my head. Just because I am that dumb.  We are leaving my house in 3.5 hours.  And I have to sleep at some point because I am a driver on this trip so I should be able to keep my eyes open a little bit.  Talk about espresso for Emily.  I already miss Jonathon's face.  I will not have internet access for a week. I am not concerned.  But I will not be updating, obviously. 

When I move to California, I am going to cry hard.  I love my family so much. I mean super a lot much.  By that I mean I cannot even express the place that my family fills in my heart.  Without them to hug and sit around with and pray with and such, life will be hard.  Plus, Zechariah is going to grow into a big little boy so fast and I don't want to miss it.  I am excited for God's call, and I think he won't be mad at me if I am sad to leave my family though.  I will still go, not even reluctantly, but with sadness mixed into my excitement, and tears mixed in with my smiles.  

It's a good thing Jaime is my girl soul mate.  And if Jonathon leaves for tour the same week I move out there, there will be a battle, just for the record. 

Twitter?

PS. What's this whole twitter thing about?

Guilty.

I feel guilty blogging when I have yet to finish packing for Biloxi and have to be at work in 9 hours.  So I won't even though I have a lot on my heart to share.  

But I do want to say that as I was waking up for work this morning Jonathon called me because he was driving home from the studio (that's a dedication I admire) so the thirty minutes I was planning on using to hang with God I spent on ichat with Jonathon.  I don't feel bad about it in the least, in fact I think God was super smiling at us.  And want to hear how great Jonathon is?  He is going to wake up at 330 tomorrow morning so he can talk to me when I wake up.  How great is that? I am so blessed to see his face.  Okay so instead of going to pack, I am going to maybe sleep?  We'll see. 

Sleep.

I'm pretty sure if I went to bed now I could sleep until tomorrow...

Sounds like a beautiful plan. 

Don't stop.

AMAZING!

Jon Ketchum

On itunes....

Make it happen.

Day.

"I hate girls that giggle all the time"

"I might as well be reaching for the moon."

"You young people you are so old fashioned, have you not heard? 

We are building rockets to reach the moon"

-Sabrina

I remember when I was back in high school and I would miss a day of school because I was sick.  It always seemed like a waste because before I knew it it was 3:10 and I felt like I might as well have been at school for the amount of stuff I was going to have to make up.  But today has gone by so slow.  My chest hurts so bad and I feel like no matter how much tea I drink my throat will not be smoothed.  My dad was really great and made homemade chicken noodle soup.  Perfect.  I just want it to be late enough where I can go to bed and not wake up in a couple hours.  I cannot miss work tomorrow so I truly hope this settles a little bit as I sleep.  

By the way, it's funny actually watching the mouths of the people in Sabrina.  So off. 

I miss Jonathon.  

It's official.

(Musta fighting for my dad's attention. Hilarious)

The worst thing about being sick is not being able to hold the most handsome baby boy ever.

When I realized I loved him too much to hold him I began to feel really guilty that I would go into work and hold other babies for four hours.  I love those beautiful children so much and do not want to give them what I have.  When it comes down to it their health is definitely more important to me than making money.  

  

Look at how seriously precious Zechariah is, and in this outfit too! It's a bummer he's growing so fast and won't be able to wear this outfit many more times.

Sick.

I hate being sick.

I did not fall asleep until at least 330 last night.  

My head is killing me, throat hurts to talk, and nose won't stop running.

On top of that my body feels nice and achey.  

Maybe the moment I walk out of the house it will go away.  Or better yet, does anyone have a handkerchief they can touch and then send my way to heal me?

... Didn't think so. 

Sabrina.

My Breakfast at Tiffany's dvd is MIA :(

Sabrina will do just fine. 

Awe.

I am in awe of how much Jesus loves me.  

His love is so unconditional.  

So magnificent.  

So unfathomable.  

And so perfect.  

He fills my heart more than anyone ever could.  

He never lets me down.  

He never disappoints me.  

He never comes up short.  

He knows how to perfectly fulfill the desires of my heart.  

He knows my every need before I even ask him.  

He speaks truth into my deepest being.  

He holds me in a way no one ever could.  

He is never unavailable.  

Never annoyed by my quirks.  

He covers me with peace.  

Restores my soul.  

He cannot stop telling me how much he loves me.  

He could not help but show his amazing love for me by laying his life down for me on his own accord.  

My Jesus loves me with everything He has.  I am so undeserving, yet because of his death and resurrection, I deserve nothing less.  

Jesus does not get annoyed with me when I am a little down and out.  He doesn't get angry that I am not overflowing with the joy he so freely lavishes upon me.  No.  He wipes my tears, holds me close, whispers to my heart, and lets me fall asleep.  Because he knows: that his "joy comes in the morning."  I like that Jesus loves watching Breakfast at Tiffany's with me on nights like tonight.  

Galatians.

Okay so funny story...

Going through the book of Galatians today with lovely lovely people someone pointed out that Paul received the revelation of Jesus Christ, did not consult with anyone and immediately went out.  She discussed that this was an amazing example of how we should be when God calls us.  That instead of stalling time discussing our call with every single person we know we need to just go.  Not really sure how it connected but Jen was like, "So Doug what does your book say about this?"  The book he grabbed was his school text book about vehicles.  Everyone kind of chuckled like, haha okay, what does it say. She's like, "ya on page 273 what does the diagram teach us?"

So he opens it up and it's about the comparison between aggressive and passive something or other.  Helloooo!! We need to be aggressively following Jesus.  Party.  Galatians is intense.  If you haven't read it lately.  Read it and laugh a little.  Paul is bruuuutal. 

Someone pointed something out today that although I knew it, I don't remind myself of it.  Paul's salvation is no more of a miracle than mine is.  Too true.  

Also. Acts 19.  I have that same power through Jesus Christ.  Scary/exciting a little?

Just for kicks here:  Emasculate yourself.

Hi most mixed up thoughts ever :)  Enjoy.  

Annoyed.

Yesterday my dad told me that the next thing Satan was going to try to do to stop Jaime and I from furthing God's kingdom on this earth is to start to get us annoyed with each other. This will be interesting. I'm excited for that day when I am annoyed with her and I can laugh and be upfront and tell Satan to step off. Our friendship is of God and cannot be divided.

Tonight Jonathon and I talked for over an hour. Amazing. I love hearing his heart. Hearing him talk about Jesus rocks me and I cannot get enough of how God teaches us through each other. What a blessing that surely is.

I cannot sleep so I might as well just finish off the rest of my trip.

Sunday it is- We went to worship at Oasis Christian Church which is the amazing church that Jonathon attends and plays at. It was an amazing time of worship and the pastor spoke about reaching out to our family and friends. He was pretty blunt about things and definitely allowed himself to be merely a gateway for the Spirit to speak. It's a shame not every pastor does that. Or every Christian for that matter. We decided to spend the afternoon at Santa Monica since Jonathon had a show there before he had to drive us to the airport. LB and Nicole took off and did their cute little thing. Jonathon and I just walked and walked and walked. We stopped at a couple stores because I am obsessed with cards. But mostly we just drank coffee or tea and walked around. It was such a carefree day and so enjoyable to not have any definite plans for those few hours. Just being in conversation and being able to hold hands meant the world to me. He spent a good portion of his energy trying to convince me to move out there soon. It was pretty dang cute and made me even more sad to go home. I made him promise to find two things before I moved there: A cute coffee shop that is unique and we could call our own and a little cove thing at Laguna we could have picnics at and escape to. I am excited for those. At one point in the afternoon when Jonathon ran in somewhere to use the restroom I had a young homeless man begin conversation with me. Basically to sum up everything he said was that he wanted to marry me and coming home to a beautiful wife to make dinner for and give foot massages to would give him motivation to get a job. About three different times he asked me to be his wife. I said no every time. God pulled me out of that conversation pretty quickly which kind of confused me because he was spitting out phrases like "theres no hope" and "I dont have anything to live for" which to me lead right into the gospel of Jesus Christ. But God said get out, so I did, and only He knows why.

That night Jonathon played an acoustic gig with Mandi Perkins for cancer research. It was basically amazing. I cannot really describe where it was located except that it was between two buildings, higher up, and outside. It was at a restaurant and they only had a fifteen minute set which was a little sad because I love watching Jonathon play and Mandi is a killer singer, but I was happy with what I got. Their voices are just amazing together and every time I am blown away by the talent. Being able to watch Jonathon touched me in a way it hasn't really since he first played Breakfast at Tiffany's at coffee beanery. Well we booked it out of there and got to the airport on time which was kind of depressing.

I would have been okay if we missed our flight.


Either I am getting sick or I sang too much today. My throat is killing me.
Sleep maybe?

Counting Points.

"Im joining weight watchers."


"umm. blog."

Thanks Jaime. But seriously. With this killer weather my passion to be healthy is surely happening. I am tired. Plank time :-)

PS. Today in Mark I read how Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath. I am taking a hardcore Sabbath tomorrow. I am excited to hang out with my Jesus all day. He makes me smile my heart out.

Rain.

I love the rain. Cozy pants, warm fire, family and baby Zechariah just woke up :)

Jesus rocks.

Jonathon is the most supportive, understanding and amazing boyfriend ever. I cannot believe what he not only puts up with with me as his girlfriend but even encourages! So blessed.

So I never shared about my amazing Saturday in California!! Real quick because I have family to love with.

Laguna Beach. Beautiful oh my goodness. Jonathon and I laid down for a little bit and then decided to go for a walk. We walked for probably a couple hours. No phones, no shoes, no nothing. Just sand, water and killer rocks to climb. We had to do some major climbing to continue our walk because some of the rocks were definitely trying to keep us from passing. As we overcame a steep little thing I saw a little ways out into the water was this rock formation that had an opening that was like a little pathway sort of thing that two people would fit through. Jonathon did not want to step on a stingray to get there but was daring with me because he knew how badly I wanted to climb out there with him :) It was so much fun. And we stood in between the rocks and made out. It felt like it should have been a movie. Those are the times where you wish you had someone following you around taking pictures while you don't know it.

After that walk we ate some yummy salads. As Jon felt like laying down a little bit more LB, Nicole and I walked forever and ever the opposite way. It was amazing girl chatting and loving. I peed in the ocean two times so despite the fact that everyone said I would not get in. I did! See.

After a loooong drive home that was over two hours us girls showered all of our oil and sand off and cooked some yummy dinner. I didn't really do anything except stir up some vegetables if we're being honest though. So the six of us enjoyed some great food and then watched Changeling. Jon tried to give me a bite of ice cream when we were laying down and it dripped down my neck and onto my hoodie. brr. I slept.

End of story. Sunday soon to come. I had a super good story to tell everyone, but I forgot it now.

MO-RO

"So what are you guys? Missionaries?"
"uh. sure. Missionaries in Royal Oak I guess."
"HAHA. MO-RO! Get it?..."

So tonight I got cussed out by a demon and didn't cast it out because I am stupid and didn't realize it until Jaime pointed it out twenty minutes later. Way to go Emily.

We prayed in a circle with four guys in front of O'Tooles and Jaime prayed beautifully and while she prayed I prayed being like, "God, what the heck? She took my heart. Pray for me I got nothing!!!" And when Jaime finished everyone started pulling away and I was like ok thats fine, I don't need to pray I don't have anything anyways. And Jaime, lovely Jaime, "Wait guys, what the heck, Emily needs to pray" haha.And basically I preached the gospel in my prayer. All four guys were staring at each other during it and I didn't even realize it because I knew it was the Holy Spirit praying for me. I know their hearts heard it.

Best quote of the night right here though!!
"They like Jesus. They don't want our numbers. And I am trying to figure out why we're still standing here." Rocking.

I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I need to be more alert to the still voice of God. What God confirmed for me tonight was this:

-In California on Sunday this young homeless guy asked me to be his wife so he could have hope and a reason for life when I was alone and instead of sharing with him the hope he has in Jesus Christ I said good-bye and walked away. Knowing full well God was pulling me away very aggressively.

-I read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
" Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken"

-Tonight when two guys separated Jaime and I to talk one on one I got cussed out by a demon and Curtis stormed off from talking to Jaime because she rocks at loving Jesus and we were standing only two feet apart...

This whole thing makes a load of sense to me... but probably won't to anyone reading it. Sorry :) Share your thoughts though. I'd like to hear if you think I am absolutely crazy and please hold me accountable if I am ever Biblically incorrect. I need to be up in four hours now to wash this smokey smell off of me and hang out with beautiful women I work with and smile at prospective families.

Kairos.

I love my girls. Can I say that we discussed vomit, passing out on the toilet and smelly feet in the midst of amazing God conversations. Love them. But most importantly we stumbled upon this phrase and had very little wisdom to offer each other.

Deep calls to deep.

Speak wisdom and truth to my heart please.
It is found in Psalm 42:7 ish I believe. It is too dark to pull out my Bible.

I love Jesus.

I just want to proclaim my love for my God and my Savior Jesus Christ.

When I ponder on what He chose to do for me, out of complete and humble love for me, my mind cannot wrap around it. 

When I realize what amazing love he has to continuously put up with me, my mind cannot wrap around it.

When I look at this world down to it's intricate aspects and consider the creativity He had to create it, my mind cannot wrap around it.

When I look at my life and how perfectly he has authored phases and moments, my mind cannot wrap around it.

When I look at the beauty in others eyes, the gentleness in other's touches, and the love in other's hearts and know that we were made in his image, my mind cannot wrap around it. 

When I look at who my Jesus is and what my God can do, 

my mind cannot wrap around it.   - I take joy in worshipping and living for a God that is bigger than my simple human mind.  I take comfort in knowing that I will never know much.  And I fall in love with my Jesus who is so real and so big that a day does not go by where he doesn't desire to teach me something new about himself.  

This may be morbid, but at my funeral I desire one thing: that is abandoned worship to the God who loved me enough to bring me home to spend eternity with Him.  And for everyone to be fully knowledgeable of the fact that I am worshipping with them with one voice and one song, but in a much better place:)   There is no fear in death.

Friday.

Maybe by the end of this month I will finally get through my five day trip recap. 

Friday- Rocked. Jonathon had rehearsal from 11-4 which was a little depressing.  I seem to miss him so much more when I know he is close by.  But Nicole, LB and I headed up to Runyon Canyon.  It is an awesome mountain that we walked up about as far as we could I do believe.  We went on a cute adventure that led us to a dead end peak that we decided not to risk our lives trying to climb.  It was nice just to walk and talk and be girlfriends.  They are such amazing girls and I just thrive on hearing them speak from their hearts.  We finished by two and so for the two hours we had to spare we drove to Melrose and did some shopping.  It's a dandy little strip of pretty unique shops with very unique clothes, and be very unique clothes, I mean extremely unique clothes... Only people in Hollywood.  We then enjoyed our first meal at In n' Out.  At the Hollywood location where Paris Hilton was once arrested, whoopie.  Haha. That makes me think of Whoopi Goldberg and I just laughed a little.  

Anyways.

We were trying to think of something creative to do since night life in that area is pretty much bars and clubs and no one was really up for that scene and Jonathon and I are still little kids if we're being honest.  So there was this street we drove by less than five minutes from Jonathon's place that was called Americana.  It was beautiful and had so much to do!  We fell in love immediately.  Jonathon and I were able to have a cute little date night while the girls enjoyed a nice stroll about, some frozen yogurt and awesome God time I hear.  Love them.  Jonathon and I went to Caffe Primo where we enjoyed some yummy gelato and sat forever.  We just talked and laughed and shared our hearts.  A lady came up with a handful of roses and so sweetly said something to the effect of Jonathon buying me a rose to feed hungry children.  He looked at me, smiled, and gave the lady ten bucks for one rose.  As she walked away he smiled and said, "No hungry kid is going to get any food with that money."  I nodded and smiled, because he still bought me a rose.  I love Jonathon's lack of laziness and not buying me flowers for every stinking thing.  I actually enjoy them.  

Let's have a remembering time.

Junior Prom- Jonathon bought me yellow gerber daisies (because daisies are my favorite) to match the yellow dress I had. 

1 year anniversary- Jonathon sent me a dozen white roses

Roxy show- My first time in California Jonathon bought me two roses from a guy on the street after his show.

Caffe Primo-Jonathon bought me a single red rose to "feed hungry children" and put a smile on my face

While we sat there a man came up to ask us how to get to San Francisco.  I told him his best bet was probably to just pick a street and walk until he decides to switch streets.  He proceeded to talk and talk and talk.  He was so drunk I could barely understand much of what he said, but what he did say broke my heart.  He shared that he woke up that morning wanting alcohol, so that is what he got.  We could not make out much of what he said so we just smiled and nodded most of the time since we found out quickly asking him to repeat himself didn't make much of a difference.  He shared a story about a man he talked to in Hollywood that was too religious, and people who are too religious are crazy or something to that effect.  I told him I agreed, but I think Jesus absolutely rocked.  His face lit up and he reached down the front of his shirt to grab a cross necklace and exclaim that he loved Jesus too.  My face smiled and my heart broke a little bit.  To this moment my emotions are so mixed and my thoughts so torn.  I wish he wasn't so drunk.  I wanted to know about the Jesus he was in love with.  I hope he is the Jesus I know and love.  I just prayed for him a lot.  Jonathon was a little uneasy about our conversation because of his impatience with alcoholics.  But I was able to rejoice.  Who knows how his night was changed to have two young people smile and converse with him forever instead of blow him off and call him crazy.  He wasn't crazy.  I loved him.  

After our dessert we enjoyed a nice dinner at a cute little place.  We talked and talked some more.  I love talking to him.  I love that we can be all serious and stuff but than be silly beyond silliness.  Sometimes I wish I could record our conversations so that I could remember all of the hilarious comments he makes.  Because they crack me up.  

We didn't stay out too late.  We crashed pretty quickly to prepare for our amazing Saturday!  

Back to real life right now- I went to visit Zechariah today.  It has been one week since I have seen him last and I feel as though he is an entirely new boy.  So big.  My mom sent me a picture of him when I was in California and I got sad and told Jonathon he was getting big and I was missing his life.  Jonathon consoled me and told me it has only been two days.  What am I going to do when I move to California for good?  I miss that boy.  

Nicole: "Bring him to Eric so Eric can show you his new trick."

Me: "haha, trick?"

Nicole: "I mean, the new thing he discovered."

haha. I love my sister.  

Cannot sleep.

I think the fourteen hours I spent sleeping last night may have messed me up a little bit. I decided to sleep on the couch tonight. Last night I slept so long, warm and comfortably in a nice big bed and woke up feeling pretty dang guilty. So although this is a pretty killer couch and I am watching a beautiful fireplace, maybe the fire will die down quickly and I will wake up in a couple hours freezing so I don't feel so guilty. But than of course I'll just reach down and grab the quilt I have on the ground...

Speaking of feeling guilty, let me tell you about the amazing vacation I just spent in California.

Thursday- Still on MI time Nicole, LB and I were up at six and ready to go... poor Jonathon. We gave him a couple more hours to sleep and then we took off for Santa Monica. I just love it there. We walked and shopped and walked some more. I pissed Jonathon off because I wouldn't let him buy me a new outfit. But who can afford a new outfit? Plus I went with a suitcase full of clothes, what more could I need? We walked to the end of the pier which was a nice time because I love everything about the water. The sand felt so amazing in my toes when we finally got down to the beach. We walked and walked. Finally Jonathon decided he wanted to sit. So the two of us sat. We kissed once or twice and just smiled into the ocean. We realized we do not have super a lot in common but that rocks for us. It gives us more to talk about and more to learn from each other. The two of us enjoyed a nice lunch together inside but where the walls are wide open so we're basically outside. It was cute and italian. I spilled my water all over when I was trying to rip a piece of bread in half. The vegetables were yummy. The chicken was lame.

We had two shows in store for the night. His friend was playing at the House of Blues and a friend from church was playing at the Baked Potato. After a seven dollar valet and paying ten bucks the guy who checked Jon's id informed him it was over 21 only. Shucks for being little kids who aren't even 20. We got our ten bucks back but valet was not so generous. So off to the Baked Potato we went. Upon arrival the valet guy tells us its 21+ but than managed to get us in. Good man. (ps. Is anyone sick of paying valet by now?) This show absolutely rocked though. This band comprised of bass, drums, keyboard, singer, and crazy rapper, floutist, saxophonist talented guy ever. Funny story...
He's warming up playing his flute and all,
Jon's friend Chris: Do you think he's better than anchorman?
Jon: haha. I don't know man.
Chris leaves for a few minutes to talk to someone. Upon return..
Chris: Dude, he IS anchorman!
haha. cute.
Anways. So the show rocked. It was this mix of hip hop, jazz, rap and who knows what else. I had chills most of the time. Amazing talent. Jon and I split a chicken teryaki baked potato. No joke. And after our two drink minimum for the night that consisted of three waters and one sprite between the two of us we left after a $30 bill. Awesome.

I feel bad writing such long posts because I am sure no one reads them all of the way through just like Jonathon deletes my voicemails halfway through. I will start a new one for Friday. It seems only fitting... Heck, I just noticed the time. It can wait.

50:52

I just spent the last five days with Jonathon nonstop except for a five hour rehearsal. And we just got off the phone after a 50:52 minute conversation.
And I am crying.

This being emotional with a boyfriend across the country is getting silly now if we're being honest.

Wednesday.

Jon picked us up from the airport at 2:30 pm. We stopped to grab a coffee and by the time we arrived at his apartment it was about 5:00. Good afternoon LA traffic! Oh and after a conversation about how Jon has never been in an accident he hit a car as he was getting over into the carpool lane. It was great. Our conversation went as follows:
Jon: "Wow, that was close."
Me: "Ya, you hit him."
It only took a few minutes to exchange information and we were on our way, no real damage at all. But thanks to that incident we didn't take the carpool ride again all week.

(So I just talked to Jonathon's mom and she shared the great story that the morning Jonathon got in an accident she spent trying to get him on his own insurance and was discussing the fact that he has never been in an accident or received any tickets... The next morning she has to call and be like, funny story....) Awesome.

We went to Hollywood Wednesday night. It is nothing exciting but my friends have never been there so Jon and I decided to take them. We ate dinner and walked around. It was a quieter night than most of the afternoons so that was strange. My all time favorite coffee shop Cafe Audrey was hosting an open mic night and I am sad to say that it was pretty lame.

My little sister just turned on American Idol. Lame. But my laptop doesn't have a charger so I am stuck on my parents desk top, therefore, my computer session is over. Ill update about Thursday, tomorrow.

First things out of the way...

I am not engaged.

That seems to be the first question I have to answer concerning my trip.

I am still in my work clothes and am craving ice cream. So I will soon return with the rundown of my amazing vacation!

yes.

I was going to write a lot of blogs and rub it in everyone's faces that it is in the seventies here and keep everyone posted on all of the exciting happenings these past few days.   But I have not wanted to waste one moment with Jonathon.  So I am not going to.