Contingency.

The fact that the Love Jesus has for me is not based on my actions, what I say or what I don't say is beautiful. The fact that it doesn't matter how much I screw up Jesus loves me with such a deep and intimate love that he chooses to forgive me and give me yet another chance gives me goosebumps and makes my heart flutter.

The other day my dad was telling me that his love for my mom is not based on what she has done that day or his particular feelings towards her. She is not the perfect wife and makes mistakes, yet his love for her is ever growing. These past few years especially I have seen that mutual love between them. I cannot even imagine one without the other. They just go.

Call me crazy, old school or unrealistic but one day I am going to be with a man who can love me like that. One day I will be with a man who will fight with everything he has to win my heart and then keep and cherish it like it is the most precious thing he has ever had. One day I will be with someone who will see beauty in my imperfections, who will feel pain in his heart over a single tear in my eye, whether it is his doing or not at all. There will be someone one day who will feel so blessed to spend a mere five minutes with me or be able to talk to me on the phone.

I know that no one can be Christ, but they can try. I have been overwhelmed with the love of Christ and if he thinks I am worth dying for, then I am not going to question if I am worth loving.

"And in order to ever pursue a relationship with anyone in the physical realm, I must first have a relationship with the creator, molder, and perfecter of all good things. And stop making excuses."