Musical Opinions.

At one point this weekend I sat down with Jonathon and his friend Mike and friend's brother.  We sat and listened to different songs that Jonathon and Mike have written together and individually and they were asking my opinions.  To me this was strange.  Jon always asks my opinions on his songs but I just assumed it was because he loves me and he was trying to involve me in the passion of his heart.  To have Mike (someone I had known for only five hours) seem genuinely concerned about what I thought blew me away.  Lets be honest with ourselves here.  When it comes to music. I know nothing.  I know if I do not like it or if it is worth listening to over and over again.  That is about it.

These past two mornings I have silenced my alarm for at least twenty minutes before I have woken up.  At that time of the morning I am dreaming that I am sitting next to Jonathon and Mike is at the computer playing different clips of music.  I am repeatedly telling them that I do not like it.  So ultimately I am silencing my phone over and over again asking them to show me something new.  I am not sure why this keeps happening and I really hope that it stops because I hate feeling so rushed in the morning.  I guess that moment meant so much to me that I keep trying to relive it over and over again.  I only wish I would tell them that I liked what they were showing me!  Maybe than I would wake up on time.  

I have felt so down since I have been back from California.  I guess for a few days I was reminded of how I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with Jonathon.  To wake up and read the Bible together in the morning, sit down and eat scrambled eggs out of the same bowl, pray together before we fall asleep, stand in painfully agonizing heels so he can be proud of me in front of his guys, and than lie down in my pajamas as he massages my feet at the end of the night.  I want to do the dishes every night because he hates to and listen to him do his vocal warm ups for an hour while I get ready.  I want to sit and watch TV shows I do not enjoy to watch Jonathon laugh.  I want to be miserable while I am being tickled beyond my tolerance just because Jonathon thinks it is fun.  I want to wake up with his arms still holding me as tight as they were when we fell asleep.  I want to be his wholly.  And I am still waiting.  I have always tried to deny the fact that I am an emotional girl.  But I am.  I cry a lot when I miss him.

My sister just explained to me that hormones interfere with her communication lines with God.  To be more specific.

"Hormones are anything but Holy." 

I love having a pregnant sister.