church.

Sufficient to say; these past couple months I have been disappointed, disheartened, ashamed and very hurt by the Christian Church.  I have visited many churches and been saddened by what they are portraying to visitors about what Jesus is all about.  Sunday morning at 10:15 am my dad came down and said, "Emily, where should we go to church?  We have to leave in 15 minutes."  

What an awakening!  I rattled my brain and everywhere I thought was immediately dismissed.  Finally we all agreed on the Korean Methodist Church on Dequindre and something mile road.  We surprisingly made it out the door by 10:30 and my parents, Eujin and I sat in the car on M-53 for over twenty minutes waiting for a truck to be pulled out of the ditch.  We ended up at Panera Bread with open Bibles and contrite hearts.  We prayed, read, discussed, questioned and challenged each other through what God had to say through His word.  

My whole life I have grown up with it pounded in my mind that you never, under no circumstances miss Sunday morning church.  As a family, we did and it was the most amazing experience.  God confirmed His word to me when He said in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."  There were four of us :)

I was anxious to go to Lighthouse that evening because believe it or not we did not sing out praises to God in the middle of Panera Bread.  Worshipping God through music is so amazing to me.  As I hear the drums beating I can feel God beating in my heart.  As I hear the chords strumming I can feel his Spirit gently blowing over me.  And as I hear my own voice singing out to my Father and Savior I am comforted by Psalm 95, "Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!" 

One reason I love lighthouse so much is because the darkness keeps my eyes and heart focused on God and not on the people around me which could be very distracting since I am an unashamed people watcher.  But last night after the message I felt the Spirit of God encouraging me to open my eyes and look around.  As I did my eyes were immediately filling up with tears and my raised arms began to tingle with a sensation I have not experienced before.  I looked in front of my and saw most every hand raised in the air as a group of young believers shouted to God that "We exalt thee!!"  I was overwhelmed and out loud I just began praising God and thanking him so much for what he had shown me.  There is a passion for Jesus Christ.  

I have been aching inside lately at the thought of so many different proclaimed Christians.  The sadness that they are so missing out on the intimate relationship God desires for them, the hurt that we are fellow believers but I cannot connect with them because we view Christianity to be very different, and the anger that they are ruining it for so many nonbelievers.  But God just showed me that though this may be true, there is still hope for His church.  Because after all, Jesus is the rock and the solid foundation so it will not be brought to the ground.  Later on during the worship we sang a song that proclaimed how hungry we were for more of Jesus.  It was beautiful to look around and see so many young and yearning people.  I can only imagine how God fed each one of his beautiful children who were calling out to him that night.  He is good and He is great.  

I booked three plane tickets to California at the end of February.  Woa I am pumped.